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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28032009">It's Alright, It's Okay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/str4wberry_p0cky/pseuds/str4wberry_p0cky'>str4wberry_p0cky</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, It gets better I promise, M/M, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Post-Canon, Post-New Dangan Ronpa V3, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, a little ooc but i mean it's postgame so it's kinda supposed to be?, kinda oumota-centric, postgame, shironaga but unrequited, vr au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:28:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28032009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/str4wberry_p0cky/pseuds/str4wberry_p0cky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>☆ ★ ☆</p><p>Everyone wakes up eventually.</p><p>To Ouma's surprise, he doesn't find himself in Hell burning for the rest of eternity and atoning for his sins. Instead, he finds himself in a hospital room surrounded by beeping monitors.</p><p>How will he be able to confront his fellow classmates after everything they did? He was embarrassed, ashamed, disgusted with what he was like in the killing game. It wasn't going to be easy to better himself while still keeping up his front, but if anyone could do it, it was Kokichi Ouma. If there was one thing he hated more than being honest, it was being vulnerable. And there was no way in hell he'd let his front down that easily for these losers (except for Amami at first, since he was there while he was still figuring out what the fuck was going on). But other than that, no one has yet to see the real Kokichi in person.</p><p>But then Kaito wakes up.</p><p>☆ ★ ☆</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akamatsu Kaede &amp; Amami Rantaro, Akamatsu Kaede &amp; Oma Kokichi, Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro &amp; Oma Kokichi, Amami Rantaro/Shinguji Korekiyo, Chabashira Tenko &amp; Yonaga Angie, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Harukawa Maki &amp; Momota Kaito &amp; Saihara Shuichi, Iruma Miu/K1-B0, Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi, Shirogane Tsumugi &amp; Yonaga Angie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>302</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ouma could feel the life leaving his body as he was dragged over to the press, desperately clinging onto the other. Kaito grunted, finally reaching the cold slab and carefully setting the other on the ground, taking off his jacket and laying it down. He then picked up Kokichi, setting him down on top of it with a lot more care and caution than he had expected.</p><p>"Hey Kaito?" the small boy coughed, covering his mouth with his fist. Kaito glanced down at him, replying, "Yeah?" There was a pause, Ouma taking a deep breath. "What'd ya think happens after you die? Where do you go?" Kokichi asked, admiring his tired reflection in the shiny metal slab above his face. Momota was a little surprised to hear such a question.</p><p>"Oh uh," the astronaut started, "Well, I wouldn't say I have a firm belief on what the afterlife is like. Hell, maybe there isn't even an afterlife. But the idea of reincarnation has always fascinated me! So maybe when we die, we come back in another life and start over." "Ah," Ouma sighed, "That sounds nice. Getting to start over."</p><p>The astronaut could see the pained expression on the supreme leader's face. He heard Kokichi let out a deep breath, head turning slightly to look at him. "Then maybe I'll get to see Momota-Chan in another life!" he giggled, "and things will be different." The smaller boy spoke the last part with a sadder tone of voice. They both knew if things had been different, the setting and situation they were in, then maybe everyone would've been okay. Maybe they would've been okay.</p><p>"Hey uh," Ouma stammered, "If I see you in my next life, I wanna have some kinda secret handshake so I know it's you. Then we can be friends!" Kaito couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Alright, that sounds good to me. What'd ya have in mind?" he replied, locking gazes with the shorter. Ouma hummed as he thought, holding his thumb to his lips and biting his nail. Then his face lit up.</p><p>The supreme leader motioned for Momota to come closer, extending a hand. Kaito complied, kneeling down beside the press. Kokichi's hand found its way to Kaito's and rested his palm gently against the other's. "Okay, so you go like this," he explained, grazing his fingers along his hand before grasping at Momota's fingers. They curled, held together as Ouma began to jab his thumb at Kaito's. "Then we have a little thumb war! Because, y'know, it's like a mini competition. And I think we both know we are each others' competition."</p><p>Kaito laughed, nodding subtly. "Sounds like a plan," he smiled solemnly. To his surprise, the taller felt a little bit of disappointment when Kokichi's hand pulled away and laid back beside his chest. He missed the contact they had just a moment ago. Perhaps it was because it was one of the friendliest they've had in a long time.</p><p>"Also," Kokichi spoke abruptly, startling the other, "I wanna hug." "In your next life?" Kaito asked. The supreme leader nodded weakly. "Yeah... I want us to hug it out, y'know? I'm sorry, I don't know, I guess I just—." "No, no, it's fine. Yeah, uh... that sounds good to me," Momota replied, anxiously, rubbing the back of his neck.</p><p>A content sigh left Ouma's lips as his eyes fluttered shut, though only for a moment. "Never in my life did I think I'd be spending my last moments with Momota-Chan... well, boy am I surprised! Not too upset, though. And that's the truth," the small boy exclaimed, looking up. Momota spotted the glistening of tears welling in his eyes.</p><p>The astronaut chuckled, shaking his head. "Same here," he confessed, "I always thought I'd be spending my last moments in a hospital room or on my bed... maybe even in a car. But here? Man, this is nothing like what I expected. I'm, uh... glad you're not too upset about the conditions, though." He heard a soft giggle come from the boy under the press. "Or maybe that was just a lie... maybe I hate everything about this! My inevitable death, the cold metallic press, you, the list goes on!"</p><p>Momota sighed heavily, furrowing his brow. "I guess we'll never know then. But despite how you may be feeling about what's going on... I'm sorry." "What?" Ouma scoffed, eyes darting to look at Kaito, "Don't apologize! This isn't your fault, you big idiot!" Kaito huffed, looking down at the ground. "But I'm killing you... the least I can do is apologize in advance, right?" Momota asked, desperately trying to keep his own tears down.</p><p>"Don't beat yourself up over it, Momota-Chan. It's not you killing me, it's me killing us. This is all my fault in the end, so don't be such a debby downer about it!" Kaito didn't want to chuckle, yet it slipped out anyways. It was almost reassuring the way Ouma put it. He looked back at the supreme leader who lay on the cold slab, smiling solemnly. "Alright, if you say so."</p><p>Even though he didn't completely believe it himself, if it helped Ouma in his final moments, Kaito was willing to believe anything. If Kokichi didn't want him to feel guilty, then he'd try his best not to! Like Kaede with her dying wish to Shuichi. He got so upset with him because he was upset about keeping her promise. Kaito wouldn't be like that— he'd fulfill Kokichi's wish with pride!</p><p>Kokichi exhaled, snapping the taller out of his thoughts, and looked up at Momota with half lidded eyes. "Well if you mess this up, I will never forgive you," he warned. Kaito grimaced, furrowing his brow and taking a deep breath. "I won't let you down, Ouma. I promise," he said quietly, fear rising in his stomach. He didn't want to have second thoughts, but here he was having second thoughts. He had to do this, but every part of him was against it. How could he go through with it?</p><p>The other boy clearly noticed the taller's unnerved expression, because his small hand grabbed onto his arm, holding onto it. "You got this, Kaito. I know you do," he exclaimed with a cough. That felt almost reassuring to Momota. A pained smile graced his features. He placed his hand over the one on his arm, rubbing his thumb over the back of Kokichi's hand.</p><p>"You're an enigma, Ouma," Kaito mumbled with a breathy chuckle, shaking his head, "A complete mystery." "Wow, I'm surprised Momo-Chan knows such a word!" Ouma snickered, obviously trying to lift his own spirits in a time such as this. The astronaut groaned, but he couldn't hide the saddened smile that tugged at his lips. "Alright... you ready?" he asked. It hurt him to ask such a thing.</p><p>Kokichi let out a strained sigh, letting go of Kaito's sleeve and resting his arm back down at his side. "Of course I'm ready," he replied, "Let's just get this over with." Momota nodded, walking over to the button and hesitantly ghosted his finger above it. "Just think of something happy, Kokichi," he stated, trying to comfort him as well as he could. He was about to push it when he heard a quiet noise come from the other. "What was that?" he questioned.</p><p>"At least... I wasn't boring, right?" Ouma choked out. Momota could hear the pain in his voice. He shook his head, holding back his own oncoming tears. "No..." he answered, finger now on the button, "No, you weren't." He listened closely as Ouma let out a content sigh, closing his eyes.</p><p>And finally, after pondering for a moment with tears in his eyes, Kaito pressed the button.</p><p>It was so quick.</p><p>Bright pink shot out from under the slab, Momota gasping as the faint sound of cracking emitted from the press. The room fell quiet. Kaito let out staggered breaths as the tears he was holding in finally fell, sliding down his cheeks and dripping off his chin. He wanted to scream so badly.</p><p>He felt disgusted. Not at the bloody scene, not at the disturbing noise... but instead himself. How could he do such a thing? How could he kill someone? He would never stoop to that level. He wanted to rip his hair out, claw at his skin, break his bones. He wanted to hurt himself like he just hurt the other. He deserved to feel pain, too.</p><p>The boy tried to speak, even though it was just to himself, but all that came out was a choked sob. He began to hyperventilate, grasping at his shirt as though it would help him grasp back onto reality, but it was no use. Even though it was only for a second, he felt like he was in Hell. He felt awful.</p><p>Regret filled him as he continued to take in the situation, realizing the boy that was alive mere moments ago was now dead right before him. Kaito would've never done such a thing if he had the choice. But Maki's life was on the line. Everyone's lives were on the line. If the plan succeeded, maybe everything would be okay. Maybe they would survive.</p><p>But he still had so many questions for Kokichi, astonished by the amount of thought and planning something like this must've took. The boy was a genius, though even that sounds like an understatement. The things that went on in Ouma's head were a mystery to everyone. And now they'd never be able to solve it.</p><p>The astronaut hadn't even noticed how many minutes had flown by until he finally took a break from staring at the press. Broken from his trance, Momota let out a choked sob as he wiped the tears away, even though that didn't bring a stop to them. He continued to cry as he approached the exisal, the door opening and him hopping inside.</p><p>Kaito closed himself inside, taking a deep breath to help calm himself. He exhaled shakily, placing his shaking hands on the controls and starting up the exisal, preparing to finally leave the area and hide until it was his time to shine. He hoped with all his heart that he wouldn't let Kokichi down. So he would put everything he had into making sure he did this right.</p><p>☆ ★ ☆</p><p>Kokichi lay staring up, eyes locking with the reflective metal above his head. He didn't want to die, let alone be killed. But he had to end this stupid, sick killing game. Even if it meant he himself had to die along with it. In his final moments, he wanted to stop— he wanted to get out from under the press and run up to Kaito. He wanted to cry and cling to him and apologize for all the horrible shit he did.</p><p>However that wasn't an option. His death was inevitable. It was going to happen sooner or later. So why not go out with a bang, he thought. Even if it meant he couldn't survive with the rest of his class, at least he'd be able to help them escape. He prayed they would thank him, though he knew with all the morally questionable things he did that they would probably overlook his sacrifice.</p><p>He wasn't surprised, though. He deserved to be forgotten. He didn't want to be, but he knew he would. They didn't like him at all. The only people who might have didn't know him long enough for him to hurt them. And finally he would pay the price for hurting the ones he did. Hopefully Miu wouldn't strangle him in Hell.</p><p>Everything hurt— his arm, his back, his throat. He was in so much pain. A part of him couldn't wait to be ridden of his body and its hurting state. But another part of him wanted to keep going. Ouma didn't want this to end the way it was going to, but there was no turning back. He was already on the brink of death, so why not put his plan into action while he's at it?</p><p>The supreme leader spoke his final words, trying his best not to cry and sob his heart out. He could hear the sound of the button being pushed now, the quiet click now ringing in his ears. He didn't even have the chance to take his last gulp of air before he felt the cold slab of metal come in contact with his skin.</p><p>It was so quick.</p><p>There was a quick crushing sensation, but then it all went black.</p><p>He couldn't feel the cold metal slab against his back. He couldn't hear anything. He couldn't see anything. It was a void of darkness that coiled in his gut and left him unsettled. He couldn't breathe. As much as he wanted to, it was like he was drowning. But no water filled his lungs— just emptiness.</p><p>He almost felt calm in that moment. The calmest he had ever felt in his entire life. It's sad to think the only way he could've achieved such a content state was by dying. He wasn't upset, though. He felt safe and at one with himself for the first time he could ever remember. Kokichi was finally at peace.</p><p>At least that's what he thought.</p><p>☆ ★ ☆</p><p>Suddenly there was a loud ringing noise that echoed throughout his head. It was almost deafening.</p><p>Bright lights behind closed, heavy eyelids shook Ouma from his content void, his heart speeding up at a concerning rate. What was going on? Instead of frigid metal, he felt soft fabric beneath and on top of him. He was warm, yet shivered at the same time. He felt so strange. He almost felt alive again.</p><p>Out of instinct, Kokichi's eyes fluttered open. He expected to see the fiery pits of Hell in which he would burn in for the rest of eternity. Instead, he was met with a set of bright white lights. The reflective glass only added to the pain his eyes experienced. It was so bright.</p><p>Where was he?</p><p>Kokichi lifted his arm up to rub his eyes, but he quickly noticed IVs attached to his skin. They pricked inside his arm, and he watched as clear liquid stood still in its circular confinement. Ouma didn't feel them, though. He assumed the needles were too small to trigger any nerves. There were small, almost translucent patches littering his skin. And there was a little clamp on his right pointer finger that emitted a subtle red light.</p><p>His nose twitched, and with that he also noticed the tube that was attached to his nose, pumping air in and out. He assumed it was there to regulate and help his breathing. But why would he need that if he was dead?</p><p>Unless...</p><p>Kokichi let out a quiet gasp, shooting up from the bed he found himself in. Though there was a subtle pain in his back, the only reaction he emitted was a wince. His eyes darted around the room, adjusting to how much darker it appeared than when he first saw it. The room was full of different machines, the constant beeping making it hard to focus. He couldn't read what anything said, his mind still groggy.</p><p>He looked out the doorway that was a few meters away from his bed. It was almost pitch black in the hallway, aside from a few glimpses of subtle light. He assumed those were from others' rooms. Kokichi continued to look around the area surrounding him, the reality sinking in.</p><p>Kokichi Ouma wasn't dead.</p><p>Kokichi Ouma was in a hospital.</p><p>The boy tried to speak, but his throat felt insanely dry and all that came out was a wheeze. It took him a few tries, but after some practice, he was able to choke out a quiet "hello" to try and grab anyone's attention. He doubted anyone was still awake.</p><p>Suddenly, he heard footsteps approaching his room. He couldn't decide whether to be happy or scared. What if it was just another patient? Or the police coming to arrest him for aiding the murder of multiple individuals? He had no idea until he saw a mop of green hair walk past his doorway.</p><p>Green hair..?</p><p>Rantaro!</p><p>"A-Amami?" Kokichi murmured, a few strained coughs leaving his throat. He was surprised when the male turned his head in his direction and let out a loud gasp. "Ouma?" he asked, gingerly taking a step forward. Ouma's lip quivered as he began to hyperventilate, the whole situation overwhelming him.</p><p>"What's going on..?" he choked out, eyes filling with tears as he hugged himself, doing his best not the tangle anything. He couldn't tell what expression was on Rantaro's face, though he hoped he wasn't too pissed to see him alive. "Woah, woah, woah. Calm down, Ouma. It's okay," Rantaro spoke softly, as though he had dealt with this kind situation before.</p><p>The purple haired boy did his best to calm himself, trying to ground himself again. "I know you're, uh... probably scared. And rightfully so. But it's okay— you're alive, Ouma. You're okay," Amami exclaimed, slowly moving towards the boy on the bed.</p><p>Kokichi took notice of Rantaro's attire. A hospital gown with similar pants covered him. He wore slippers that squeaked quietly against the tiled floor. His hair was a bit of a mess, sprawled everywhere. He had fading bags under his eyes. He looked exhausted. Kokichi wondered why.</p><p>"But... why..?" Kokichi mumbled, furrowing his brow, "Why am I alive?" He looked up to see Amami at the side of his bed, kneeling down and placing a hand on his arm. Under any other circumstance, Kokichi would've flinched and pulled his arm away. But now he was too confused and exhausted to react. Rantaro let out a sigh, looking into Ouma's tired and frightened eyes that were glimmering with fresh tears.</p><p>"It wasn't real, Kokichi. None of it was."</p><p>"What..?" the smaller whimpered, tears rolling down his cheeks. The taller's thumb rubbed gently against his skin in a comforting manner. "It was a simulation. It was a reality tv show for the public," he tried his best to explain and put it as bluntly as possible, "No one died, Kokichi. It was all fake." Ouma's gaze stayed attached to Rantaro's face.</p><p>The boy choked back a sob, a shaky hand grasping onto the one on his arm. "S-So... everyone's okay?" he asked, his voice faltering. "Mhm," the green haired male nodded, "Everyone's okay. Everyone who died is awake and on their own roads to recovery. Everyone who is still in the simulation has yet to come here. They'll be here soon, though. Everyone wakes up eventually."</p><p>Ouma took a deep breath, letting out a shaky sigh. "How do you know all this?" he questioned, looking at the other with an unnerved expression. Amami quickly took account Kokichi's uneasiness, looking at him with a warm yet nervous smile. "I've, uh... been in this situation before," he confessed, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand.</p><p>"Like... you've been a part of another killing game before this one..?" Kokichi's voice wavered as a pit filled his stomach. The taller let out a strained sigh, using the hand that was previously behind his neck to rest on Kokichi's upper arm. "Yeah..." he replied, his smile slowly fading as he realized how unsettled the other became. "B-But I didn't kill anyone, don't worry! I survived until the end and the others helped aid the rest of us back to health. It was quite the experience..."</p><p>"Oh..." Kokichi said softly, looking at the beeping monitor beside his hospital bed. It was relieving to know that Amami hadn't killed anyone. He knew he wouldn't have, but it helped soothe his knowing he wasn't being confronted by a murderer. If anything, he was being confronted by the victim of one.</p><p>The two sat in silence for a moment, but this wasn't a comfortable silence. It was one that made Kokichi's skin crawl. It was more unnerving than therapeutic in his opinion. Suddenly, Rantaro spoke up, "I'm guessing you don't actually know who the mastermind, huh? Since you decided to lie about it and what not to scare the shit out of the others."</p><p>Ouma shook his head slightly, mumbling a quiet, "No, I don't." Amami flashed the other a calm smile, then looking down at the tiled floor. "Well, to make a long story short, it's Tsumugi," the green haired boy stated. Kokichi's eyes went wide as he mouthed, "I fucking knew it!" The taller chuckled, shaking his head. "Can't say I wasn't surprised when I found out, but I knew you were on the right track with your little white board."</p><p>"Uh, how did you know about my white board?" Ouma asked. "Well, since the game is broadcasted to all of Japan, we can watch the events of it unfold from the TVs here. And since there are cameras in your room, we got to see it whenever the show focused on your room. In fact, the body discovery was on recently and uh... yeah, it was pretty gruesome. I can't even begin to imagine how that felt." Kokichi grimaced at the last comment, he himself not wanting to recall the details of his death.</p><p>But at least his question was answered. "Wait, so you guys can see what Monokuma and the mastermind see through the cameras?" he pondered, looking to the other. Amami nodded, adding, "Yeah, we see everything the cameras see. So we didn't know exactly how your death went down... we just know it happened." "Ah," the shorter said softly, "Yeah, that makes sense."</p><p>Again, more silence.</p><p>"Well, I'm assuming you might be a little hungry," Rantaro started, "I was just heading down to the dining hall to grab a snack and a drink. Care to join me?" Kokichi nodded, a gentle smile gracing his features. "Yeah, I am pretty hungry," he replied with a breathy chuckle. "Alright then c'mon. Let's get you up and out of this bed," the taller spoke with an encouraging and upbeat tone that made Ouma's heart feel a little happier.</p><p>Kokichi hummed cheerfully, using his hands to push himself up straight and tried to move his legs.</p><p>Keyword being tried.</p><p>Yet they wouldn't budge. Nor could he feel them.</p><p>Ouma hasn't even realized he was screaming until Rantaro began shushing him, gently grabbing onto his shoulders. "Kokichi, calm down, it's okay. Kirumi had the same problem... it's just you're legs are trying to wake up. You're mind and upper body may be awake and functioning, but sometimes the rest takes a little longer. Just some quirks in the programming is all."</p><p>The purple haired boy sat mouth agape staring at the other male. "H-How long will they be like this?!" he stuttered, almost angrily. "Well, Kirumi was only wheelchair bound for about three or four days. So I'd assume it would take about that long for you as well. Maybe less, maybe more— we'll just have to see," Rantaro explained calmly. He plucked the now empty IVs out of his skin and removed the finger clamp, setting them back on their monitors while mumbling a quiet, "You don't need this anymore" to himself. How the fuck could Amami be so calm?!</p><p>"Don't worry, Ouma. I'll go grab you a wheelchair." Amami stood up, patting his arm before quickly walking out of the room and taking a left. Once he was out of sight, Kokichi let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Although he was still beyond confused with his newfound situation, he was also beyond grateful that Rantaro was helping him through it.</p><p>And as quickly as he had left, Rantaro was back, wheeling a wheelchair through the doorway. "Alright, I'll help you into this, okay?" he exclaimed, pushing the wheelchair to the bed so that it would easier to transfer the small boy into it. Ouma nodded anxiously, reaching out and wrapping his arms around Amami when he felt him picking him up.</p><p>He was gently set down into the leathery seat of the wheelchair, adjusting to his confinement the best he could. He still felt incredibly groggy; but he was also beginning to become less confused, which was a step in the right direction. Hopefully he'd be able to regain full composure and put back up his mask. He was thankful Rantaro was the only one yet to see it down completely. Knowing the other boy, Kokichi knew he'd keep his vulnerable side a secret.</p><p>At least he hoped so.</p><p>The thought of Rantaro preaching of Kokichi's vulnerability brought an ill feeling to his stomach. He didn't want his classmates that resided at the hospital along side him to know how weak he can actually be at times. But if Kokichi had analyzed him accurately during his short time in the game (which he most likely had), then Amami understood the importance of secrets. How crucial it can be to someone to put up a mask to protect themselves and others. Maybe that was why he felt as though he and Rantaro clicked when they first met. Or perhaps that was because of the other's caring big brother nature. Both seemed like logical excuses to feel a slight bit attached to the other. </p><p>"Alright, there we go." The calming voice of Amami shook Ouma out of his thoughts, gasping quietly as he felt the wheelchair take a turn, now facing the exit of his room. "It's okay, I got you. I understand you may feel uncomfortable having someone else in charge, but you can trust me. I promise, I'm not a bad guy." So Kokichi did have a pretty accurate analysis! Rantaro understood his uneasiness, and right now, that was enough sympathy for him. </p><p>The two boys swiftly exited the hospital room, the shorter now seeing the long hallway that seemed to run on forever. The white walls, despite the few light illuminating them, made his eyes burn a little. Same thing for the floor, it also being a white color, with the added reflective seal. Everything was so bright; a little (no, more so a lot) too much for his liking. He squinted his eyes closed as he was pushed down the corridor, pouting as Rantaro chuckled at his scrunched up features. "Yeah, it's a little bright at first. Don't worry, though. You get used to it and it doesn't hurt your eyes after that."</p><p>That bit of reassurance made Kokichi smile faintly, finally starting to rest against the back of the wheelchair. Rantaro was right-- being vulnerable wasn't his favorite thing to do at all. The thought of someone taking advantage of him during the times when he took his mask down terrified him. It had happened before, and he had learned his lesson since then. He wasn't stupid anymore. He was no longer blind to his flaws and weaknesses: it now consumed his life. He now had to do everything he could to make sure no one knew what lay behind him front... even himself. That's right, you heard that right-- Kokichi Ouma lying to himself. </p><p>Not like that's anything new, though. It was a normal, daily occurrence for Ouma. He lied to himself about his feelings, his insecurities, his morals... everything. Kokichi couldn't even come clean to himself. What made him think he'd ever be able to come clean to others? Lies were just a part of Ouma, and despite his multitude of attempts to push them down, they always popped back up and ruined everything. Kokichi's lies ruined everything. He ruined everything. It was embarrassing, to be completely honest.</p><p>"Okay, we're here," the green haired male exclaimed, wheeling Kokichi into the dining hall. Now tugged out of the world in his head, the purple haired boy looked around. It looked like a school cafeteria but smaller, and a lot more white. What was it with hospitals and being all white and crap? There were bowls set out on the counter that were full on snacks like granola bars, chips, cookies and more. It almost surprised him, but he assumed it was just a welcome back gift to all those who had woken up already. </p><p>"Pfft, there's cookies?" Ouma snickered, cocking an eyebrow. Amami hummed an affirmation is reply, nodding and wheeling Kokichi over to the counter. "Take your pick," he started, "You don't have a peanut allergy or nut allergy in general, right? 'Cause I'm pretty sure some of the cookies have nuts in them, and same goes for some of the granola bars. Wouldn't want you getting an allergic reaction and actually dying, huh?" Ouma nodded his head, hand reaching up and snatching a cookie. Without much thought, he took a bite, and his mouth nearly watered at the sensation of sweetness running over his tongue.</p><p>"Holy crap, I haven't had macadamia nut cookies in forever..." Kokichi chuckled to himself, not attempting to hide the smile that appeared on his lips. Rantaro grinned happily, ruffling the smaller boy's hair. "Well, it looks like you really like 'em. You need anything to drink?" he exclaimed, Ouma replying with, "Yeah, I could really use some what right about now. I'm parched! Amami-Chan better not let me die of thirst!" Amami's smile only grew, glad to see that Kokichi's usual chipper and annoying self was back in motion. </p><p>He sighed, giving a thumbs up and walking over to another counter where water bottles were stashed together in crates. He strutted back over, handing the bottle to Kokichi who took it quickly. "Thank you my beloved Amami-Chan!" the shorter giggled, taking a break from nibbling on his cookie and popping off the cap, chugging about half of it down in one go. "Good lord, Kokichi, slow down! You might actually choke and die," Rantaro chuckled, a weary smile on his lips. "Oh, don't be so worried about little old me, Rantaro. As a supreme leader, I..!" Kokichi began, but then he stopped. </p><p>"Wait... I'm not the ultimate supreme leader anymore, am I?" he asked, looking up at the taller. Amami sighed quietly, nodding as he looked off to the side. "Yeah," he answered, "No one goes by their ultimates anymore. Not even Miu... it's kinda like recalling a bad memory, y'know? It's a part of us that most of us want to forget." "Ah..." Kokichi mumbled as he looked down at his slippers that were suspended by the plastic pedals of the wheelchair. If not even that slutty pig referred to herself as the ultimate inventor, then clearly something was up. </p><p>Ouma's head instinctively shot up as he heard Rantaro's footsteps walk around and behind him. "Well, ready to go back to your room? You should be getting back to resting. I'll come to your room in the morning, alright? Then we can meet up with everyone else for breakfast." Kokichi nodded, but then after thinking for a second, he stiffened. "Wait, meet up with everyone? Uh, I'm sorry, but no way dude. I can't look at them the same again. Four of them are murderers, for God's sake! What if they're out for me next?" Amami rolled his eyes, grabbing onto the handles and steadily pushing the wheelchair out of the dining hall.</p><p>"None of us were actually murderers, Kokichi. But I think that's your way of saying that you're scared to see them again..." Rantaro explained, his voice calm and quiet, "Why are you afraid, Ouma?" The purple haired boy bit his thumb, looking down with a furrowed brow. "I, uh... I guess I'm just nervous to actually see them all again is all." That wasn't completely a lie. He was nervous, but instead because he knew he would get shit from everyone no matter what. Maybe nervous wasn't even the right word to describe how he felt. Embarrassed? Ashamed? Disgusted? </p><p>He heard a soft hum emit from the taller as the wheels of the wheelchair and his slippers squeaked against the floor. "I understand, dude. Everyone responds to these kinds of situations differently. It's completely okay if you don't want to see anyone for a bit, but they'll start to get suspicious or worried and look for you. So better to take the initiative before they do, I guess." "Okay," Kokichi mumbled as they approached his room, Amami wheeling him inside and to the edge of his bed. </p><p>He reached up, clinging to Rantaro's shoulders as he hoisted him onto his bed, carefully draping the covers over him. "Now you get some rest," he said calmly, as he usually did, "Again, I'll check on you in the morning, alright?" "Mhm!" Ouma replied, snuggling into the blankets and closing his eyes, "Goodnight Amami-Chan!" The boy heard a soft chuckle come from the other and another hand ruffle his hair. "Goodnight, Ouma. Sleep well."</p><p>Kokichi could hear the squeaky footsteps of the other leaving his room, and once he was certain he was gone, his eyes fluttered open. He let out a heavy sigh, looking up at the ceiling with an blank look on his face. He didn't want to sleep, but he knew he had to. He was exhausted already, and if he decided to stay up for the rest of the night, he knew he'd hardly be able to function in the morning.</p><p>But before he could even protest against himself, he felt his heavy eyelids flutter shut and found himself drifting off to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>woohoo, it's finally done!! i've been working on and off on this for the past few weeks, but i finally got it finished!! this is my first ever work i've ever published, so if you have/had any thoughts on it, please share them!! i'd love to know how the people reading my stories feel about them!! thank you, and have a good rest of your day/night!! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Breakfast with Kaede</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Much to Kokichi’s gratitude, he didn’t have any nightmares. Perhaps it was because he was too tired to dream. He decided to go with that, since it seemed to be the most logical solution. Although he knew nightmares were an inevitable part of his future, he appreciated that whatever god there was blessed him with a sound sleep. </p>
<p>He heard voices echoing beyond his room, head instinctively turning to face the doorway. The gears in his head began to grind as he tried to remember who’s voice belonged to who. He knew Angie’s cheerful voice by heart, and he could hear Ryoma’s deep words distinctly. But then his stomach began to stir as he heard the numerous curses of a voice he knew all too well.</p>
<p>Miu Iruma. </p>
<p>It was hard to say exactly how he felt when he realized that she was just down the hall from him. He was scared, of course-- but he couldn’t help but feel thankful as well. If even people like Iruma were doing good around here, then surely his recovery would be smooth as well. And her tone wasn’t sad or angry, but happy. Her words weren’t degrading, instead kind and almost, dare he say, welcoming. She seemed so much calmer now compared to her ingame persona. Though she was still as loud and lowkey obnoxious, she was a tad more tolerable when she wasn’t spewing rude nonsense. </p>
<p>So maybe confronting her wouldn’t be as hard, considering she seemed to have toned down her usual bitchy attitude? Well, he sure hoped so. That was one of the things that drew Kokichi to pick on her during the killing game. Her reactions were always so funny, edging him to keep it up. He hoped Miu wouldn’t be too upset about all the degrading jokes he made towards her. While she had all the right to be in rationality, Ouma still prayed that she would forget all about it. That wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have. But like Rantaro had said: he was going to need to talk to her sooner or later. </p>
<p>Speaking of Rantaro, where was he? Didn’t he promise he would be there when Ouma woke up? Of course he ditched him, was the first thought that came to the boy’s mind. It was almost instinct at this point for him to assume the worst of people. He had lost most of his faith in humanity during the game, and was now both surprised and almost saddened that he couldn’t push those thoughts away in reality. He knew deep down that, logically speaking, perhaps Amami was busy with something else. Or he had forgotten. Or he hadn’t shown up yet because he had just woken up. </p>
<p>Thankfully his question was answered once he saw that same mop of green hair in his doorway, standing still. “Good morning, Ouma. Did you sleep well?” he asked, striding over to the other’s bed and smiling that calm smile he usually did. “Yep! I didn’t have any nightmares, none at all!” Kokichi replied, giggling. “Or maybe that was just a lie! And I had a terrible nightmare about Kaede’s eight hour long execution!” he added, lip quivering as his eyes watered with fake tears. Amami sighed softly, shaking his head with a few quiet tsks. </p>
<p>“If you had a nightmare, I’m really sorry,” Rantaro said, looking at the other with sincerity that made Ouma feel a little sick. Being cared for on such a whim was something that he wasn’t used to at all, so having someone like Amami say something so kind to him made his stomach churn. He shifted a little, sitting up and looking straight ahead. He didn’t dare look at Rantaro, just staring at the wall with a blank face. </p>
<p>“Hey, what’s wrong?” the taller asked, placing his hand gingerly on the shorter’s arm. Ouma flinched instinctively, surprised he didn’t do that the first time Rantaro had touched him. He blamed that on him being confused and still attempting to ground himself the night prior. Under any other circumstances, he told himself, he never would’ve let someone touch his arm without warning. </p>
<p>Ouma didn’t even have to look at the other to sense his concern, relief washing over his stiff body as he felt the hand leave his arm just about as quickly as it was put there. “I’m sorry about that,” he spoke softly as to not alarm the smaller, “I won’t touch you without warning anymore, okay? Or at all if it makes you uncomfortable.” </p>
<p>Kokichi wanted to slap him in the face for how considerate and understanding he was being. His mind raced as excuses flooded his thoughts. Pity-- he’s pitying you. He feels bad for how weak you are right now. He doesn’t actually care; he’s just saying that to make it seem like he does so he’d trust him. He’s gonna use you, Kokichi thought, he’s trying to get you to trust him so he can use you like the object you are. </p>
<p>The two were engulfed in an unsettling silence for a moment.</p>
<p>Then Rantaro spoke up. “So, uh, are you ready to see the others? There’s breakfast in the dining hall if you’d like some. I can either wheel you down there or you can stay here and I’ll bring you something. Whatever you’d prefer,” he exclaimed, scratching the back of his neck. The small boy took into account his options, trying to decide which would ultimately be better for him. While the second sounded much more favorable, he knew the first one would prove better in the end. The sooner he got his reunion over with the better. </p>
<p>“I’d like to be wheeled down to the dining hall, please!” Ouma smiled, now looking back at the green haired male in front of him. Rantaro couldn’t help but mimic his grin in a much subtler way, nodding as he stated, “Alright, sounds like a plan. I’m gonna pick you up and set you in the chair, okay?” “Ugh, Amami-Chan! You don’t need to tell me everything you’re doing before you do it! I’m not an idiot like Momo-Chan!” Kokichi groaned, crossing his arms with a huff. </p>
<p>Then his demeanor changed almost drastically. “Wait, how is Kaito doing? Is he still in the exisal?” he asked, eager for an answer. He had nearly forgotten all about the astronaut since he had woken up, which surprised and alarmed him. If he had forgotten about him already, what made him think he could remember their handshake and hug?</p>
<p>“I tuned in a little this morning. Since they modify the game’s footage for viewing and time purposes, there’s a break right now. But in a few hours I bet we’ll be able to see the trial,” he exclaimed, “But don’t feel pressured to watch it; you don’t have to. Ryoma didn’t want to watch his, so there’s no reason to feel as though you have to watch yours.” “Well, of course I wanna watch it! I wanna see how he handles it! I wanna watch him carry on my legacy!” Amami sighed with content, a gentle smile on his lips. “Alright, then we should start the day, huh?” “Oh, definitely. I wanna make sure I’m wide awake and fully engaged when I tune in!” Kokichi spoke. </p>
<p>Rantaro chuckled, reaching out and carefully grabbing the other. “Then let’s get to it.” Kokichi grinned giddily, clinging to the taller as he was set into the wheelchair with seemingly about as much care as Amami could muster. While the gesture was appreciated, it still made Ouma a little uneasy. He was just waiting for the moment when Rantaro would stab him in the back and then leave him behind. He wouldn’t let his uneasiness show, though. He couldn’t let Amami know how he felt about his efforts of kindness.</p>
<p>He was gingerly pushed out of his room and down the hall towards the dining hall. He could see mops of hair attached to people who were sat at tables, talking amongst themselves. His stomach churned with fear as he could feel his body grow stiff and cold. Why the fuck did he agree to this?! He wasn’t ready for this! He needed more time to prepare himself for what he was about to do. But he wouldn’t dare tell Amami to turn back. That would damage his already damaged ego by a ton. Or even worse, it would show Rantaro just how frightened he was. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, he didn’t get much more time to think before Amami spoke up in the doorway to the dining hall, “Hey everyone, I’m back. And I brought a guest with me this time, too.” Heads turned around and eyes burned into Ouma like lit candle wicks. He did his absolute best to hide how nervous and ashamed he was in that moment, and fortunately for him, he was able to do it quite well. </p>
<p>He examined all of their faces carefully. Most of them were surprised. Angie’s eyes were wide open as she gasped, Ryoma looked at him with an alarmed expression, and Korekiyo’s hand went to cover his mouth. And to his own surprise, he couldn’t really see any signs of intense anger. It was all really just astonishment and confusion. No one spoke as eyes stared him down like a hawk. </p>
<p>Suddenly, a voice chimed out, “Kokichi?” His gaze followed the voice and he found himself looking at Kaede, who sat there wide and teary eyed. It took the purple haired boy a short moment to gather his bearings, shooting back, “No, it’s Albert Einstein-- of course it’s me!” He watched in astonishment and confusion as smiles began to appear on faces. No disgusted glares or judgmental looks from what he could see. Just relieved smiles. </p>
<p>But then again, he couldn’t spot Gonta or Miu. He thought he had just heard Iruma, too! Maybe that was a good thing. Perhaps the universe knew Kokichi wasn’t ready to see those two yet.</p>
<p>“You’re awake!” she spoke, her voice wavering, “It’s great to see you!” She got up, slowly walking over to him and Amami. “Wish I could say the same for you, Akamatsu,” he sneered, smirking as she rolled her eyes. “Stop lying, you little stinker. Now get over here!” “Pfft, what are you--.”</p>
<p>Ouma’s body stiffened as he felt arms wrap around him and embrace him in an awkward hug, considering his position. He tried to protest, but the words wouldn’t come out as his hand reached up and rested against her arm. “We’re glad you’re back, Kokichi,” she said in a comforting voice, squeezing him a little tighter before pulling back with a giddy smile. “Now, it may take a little time for things to go back to normal, but I’m sure things will be okay between you and everyone else soon enough,” she added, “We’re just all thankful that you woke up after such a, uh… gruesome death.” </p>
<p>Kokichi scoffed, rolling his eyes and he crossed his arms. “You guys seriously thought I wasn’t gonna wake up? You guys must be really stupid then, nishishi!” he snickered, “I’m all good now, though! Just a little weak in the knees, as you can most likely tell.” Kaede chuckled, shaking her head as she motioned for Rantaro and Kokichi to follow her. “Well, breakfast is still hot if you’d like some eggs and bacon,” she exclaimed. “Ooh, yummy!” the shorter giggled, clapping his hands together, “Yes, I could really go for some breakfast right about now.”</p>
<p>☆ ★ ☆</p>
<p>Ouma sat at a table with Rantaro and Kaede, nibbling on his eggs happily. They were surprisingly good, considering all the stories he heard about hospital food being terrible. Rantaro sat to his right, enjoying his own breakfast as well. “So Kokichi, how are you feeling?” Akamatsu asked, picking up her fork and taking a bite of her food. “Why are you asking so many questions, Kaede? I thought the last thing you’d want to do is talk to me!” he shot back. </p>
<p>The blonde sighed, looking at the other with an almost solemn expression. “I’m just a little worried is all, I guess. I know you’re probably gonna have a hard time here at first with everyone. Especially Miu… but don’t worry, she’s gotten better with her attitude! But if we’re being honest…” She picked at her eggs with her fork. “She’s just as scared to see you as I’m guessing you are to see her. You both think you wanna kill each other, huh?” </p>
<p>The purple haired male sat there in confusion. Miu being scared to see him again? He thought she’d want to strangle him for everything he did! But her being too nervous to even confront him? Now that was weird. Then again, everything about after the game was weird. </p>
<p>“We all have things we’re ashamed of, Ouma,” Akamatsu started, “Don’t tell her I said this, but… she still kind of regrets trying to kill you during the game.” She spoke the last part in a whisper, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention to her words. Kokichi furrowed his brow, lips parting as he tried to speak but couldn’t. He just couldn’t believe that, if Kaede was telling the truth, Miu had regretted trying to murder him. What an unlike-Miu thing to do!</p>
<p>“Woah, that’s a shocker,” Kokichi mumbled, mouth full of food, “Didn’t expect someone like Iruma to have regrets.” The blonde beside him shrugged, spooning another load of eggs into her mouth. “Like I said, we all have our regrets,” she stated, “I know you definitely do, too.” Ouma looked at her with an unreadable expression, not wanting to admit how undoubtedly right she was. Kokichi wasn’t easy to read, that was for sure, but somehow Kaede had gotten something about his right. He was a little surprised in all honesty. </p>
<p>His gaze found itself attached to a hand that waved in front of his face. “Kokichi?” Akamatsu asked, snapping her fingers. The boy shook his head a little, snapping out of his daze when he heard her. “What? I’m fine,” he shot back with an almost rude glare. “Hey, don’t be mean,” Amami warned as he furrowed his brow, “She was just concerned. You were dozing off again.” </p>
<p>Kokichi’s skin crawled at Rantaro’s words. He knew the taller didn’t mean to upset him with what he said, but he couldn’t help but want to punch him. To Ouma’s dismay, his victim mentality was showing. He didn’t want to be blamed for the things he did, despite knowing full well some things were indeed completely his fault. But even the small things like being corrected on a rude comeback made his blood boil a bit. </p>
<p>Perhaps it was because he feared the responsibility of taking accountability. Or maybe it was him not wanting to admit his wrong doings. Did pride have to do with it? Knowing Ouma, it probably did. </p>
<p>“Okay, I’m so sorry Akamatsu-Chan,” the purple haired boy whimpered, showing her his best puppy dog eyes. She shook her head with a sigh, getting up with her plate. “It’s alright, Ouma. We might have to work on your attitude as well,” Kaede exclaimed with a soft giggle, walking over and setting her plate with the other dirty dishes. Ouma rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “No way! I’ll lose my sparkle!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>as you can probably tell, this was a little shorter than the prologue. i'm pretty sure the chapters following this one will also be between two thousand and four thousand words long instead of the more than five thousand word prologue. it'll help me put stuff out quicker, time things better and help prevent burnout on my part. again, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!! thank you for reading!! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Don't Apologize, It's Not Your Fault</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ouma!’ </p><p>The cheerful voice startled him as he and Rantaro were leaving the dining hall. His head jerked around and he saw Angie skipping cheerfully after them. “Good morning! I was asked by a dear friend of mine to deliver a message to you!” she chirped, long white hair flowing in two pigtails behind her. Ouma raised an eyebrow. </p><p>“A message, you say?” he asked, tilting his head to the side, “And who might it be from?” Yonaga hurried her pace, brushing her hands down her hospital gown as he catched the little breath she lost. She cleared her throat, coughing into her fist as she looked down at him with a welcoming smile. “Guess!” she giggled, clasping her hands together. Kokichi groaned, crossing his arms. “I don’t know… wait, is it Hoshi-Kun? Ooh, or Chabashira-Chan?” </p><p>Angie laughed her cheerful and signature laugh, lips curved up in a squinty smile. “Nope!” she replied with rosy cheeks. Kokichi snickered, shaking his head with a dramatic sigh. “Well, then who is it? Don’t leave me longing for an answer, Angie-Chan!” he pouted, pursing his lips. The girl giggled again, long hair draping over her shoulders. “Alright, I’ll tell you! The person who asked me to send you a message was…” </p><p>“Gokuhara-Kun!” </p><p>Ouma could feel his face drain of all color, limbs stiffening almost instantly. “Uh, pardon?” he asked, blinking a good few times. </p><p>“I said Gokuhara-Kun asked me to deliver a message to you!” Yonaga replied, looking at Kokichi with an excited gaze. Kokichi looked down at the floor for a moment, furrowing his brow. However, his head shot back up as he questioned, “Well, what does he have to say, hm? Go on, spill the beans Angie!” As per usual, he used his annoying front to disguise how confused and frightened he actually was. </p><p>Yonaga’s hands fell down to her sides as she tilted her head a tad. “Well, Gonta asked me to tell you to go to the day room in the right wing in about half an hour! He heard about your awakening and wanted to have a chat!” she exclaimed happily. Ouma’s lips parted, but no words came out, although he hadn’t intended for any to. His gaze fell to the floor again as he pondered his situation. Meeting up with Gonta so soon?</p><p>There was no way in hell he was ready for that. Not yet, at least. After what he did to him, he was surprised Gonta would want to even look at him, let alone talk to him. But it was Gonta, after all. He was gullible and trusting and pretty stupid, so of course he’d want to talk things through with Ouma. Knowing Gokuhara, he’d probably apologize, even though none of what Kokichi did or went through was his fault. </p><p>It’s not like he wanted to use Gonta, it was just convenient and his last resort at the time. In his defense, he was under a lot of pressure. Being aware of your murder in advance would put a lot of stress on someone, even if you knew it was bound to happen eventually. He was scared and confused and stressed out. He just needed some way to keep going. He knew full well that Miu was capable of saving the world, but of course he being the selfish asshole he was wanted to as well. And if that meant he had to get rid of Iruma, then so be it. </p><p>But Gonta didn’t deserve to pay for what he did. It wasn’t even Gokuhara’s intention to harm Miu in the slightest. If anything, he would do everything in his power to keep her safe. But he would also do anything he could to keep Ouma safe, too. Even if it gets him killed, which is ultimately what happened in the end. God, how he wished he could take that back. Huh, Kokichi Ouma having regrets. That’s odd. </p><p>“So, shall I tell him that you will be meeting him there?” Angie broke the silence, eyes glimmering with excitement. The purple haired boy cleared his throat, rubbing his collarbone anxiously. “Oh, uh, yeah. Tell him that that works just fine,” he answered with a fake smile. Suddenly, Amami spoke up for the first time since Yonaga had stopped by. “Huh,” he spoke, “Glad to know that you’re ready to meet up with him again.” That comment made Kokichi’s heart, oddly enough, swell with pride. He couldn’t pinpoint why, but Rantaro being proud of him for accepting Gonta’s offer felt like a step in the right direction. And he knew very well that it was a good step for him to take, even if not every part of him wanted to. </p><p>“Oki doki!” Angie giggled, skipping backwards towards the table she had previously been sitting at with Tenko, “I’ll get a hold of him as soon as I can!” Ouma watched as she whispered a few things to Tenko before rushing off back down the hall past Ouma and Amami. Rantaro chuckled, shaking his head with a content smile gracing his features. “Okay, so if he wants to meet with you in a half an hour, then we should have a little more time to just roam around if you’d like. Maybe get a bit of a better grasp on how this place is formatted?” </p><p>The small boy nodded, clasping his hands together. “Yes, I would love to see how crappy the rest of this place is!” he exclaimed with cheerful sarcasm in his voice. Amami sighed heavily, pushing him down the hall at a consistent, semi-slow pace. “It’s not all that bad here, Kokichi. I’m sure in some time you’ll find a home in here until you’re let out.” Ouma tilted his head to the side, asking, “Until I’m let out? Well, when will that be?” </p><p>The green haired male shrugged, slippers squeaking almost obnoxiously against the tiled floor. “I’m sure it won’t be too long from now. Maybe a week or two? After that, Team Danganronpa is obligated to provide funds for therapy and what not,” he explained. “Oh,” the shorter mumbled, “Well, I’m glad I won’t be stuck in this hellhole for too long.” “It’s really not that bad, Ouma. You just have to make do,” Amami said, a slight annoyance in his voice. Kokichi rolled his eyes, arms crossed as he snickered out, “Whatever.”</p><p>☆ ★ ☆</p><p>The tour wasn’t all that eventful, mostly consisting of white rooms and squeaky tiled floors. It was all so bland, Ouma though. It was all so boring. Rantaro showed him around, introducing him to the day room, where most of the restrooms reside, the hospital’s garden (which he was not expecting, but still appreciated) and more. And before the two knew it, the thirty minutes was about up. Now they were in Ouma’s room again, Kokichi fidgeting with his fingers while Amami sat in the chair against the wall near the doorway, one leg crossed over the other. </p><p>“Want me to come with you?” Rantaro asked, a sympathetic look on his face. Here he was, pitying Ouma again like he had earlier that morning. Kokichi sighed, running a hand through his bed head hair. “No, this is something I gotta do myself. I ain’t a pussy,” he shot back, “I can handle this, Amami-Chan.” The taller uncrossed his legs, standing up with a chuckle. “Alright, I’ll be in my room if you need me. You know where that is, right?”</p><p>“Of course I do! You seriously thought I wasn’t paying attention during your little tour?” the purple haired boy giggled, quirking his eyebrow at the other boy. Rantaro shrugged, chewing the inside of his cheek. “I mean, you did look kinda out of it. Glad to know you were paying attention, though.” He smiled comfortingly at the shorter, scratching the back of his neck, “Well, if you’re ready, I’d say you should get going and not hold him up.” </p><p>Ouma nodded, stretching out his arms before grasping onto the rails of the wheels. He gingerly pushed them forward, jumping a little in his seat as he jerked forward. “Woah, be careful with that thing,” Rantaro chuckled, “Don’t push too hard and be careful when you turn. If you make a sharp turn, you could fall over and hurt yourself.” “Okay, okay! Thank you for the totally unnecessary advice, Taro!” Kokichi shot back, carefully wheeling himself to the doorway. </p><p>He looked back at Rantaro. Was he really ready to talk to Gonta? He must’ve let a bit of his uneasiness slip out since Amami said in a calm tone, “Hey, you’ll be okay. I’m sure he’s not mad, considering how he usually is with people. I bet he’ll be happy to see you again.” Kokichi smiled solemnly, furrowing his brow before turning his head back around and leaving his hospital room. He sure hoped Amami was right. </p><p>☆ ★ ☆</p><p>Kokichi arrived at the day room quite quickly, and was surprised to see how fast he learned how to work the wheelchair, though thankful nonetheless. His eyes darted around the room as he entered, admiring the way the morning light shone through the windows through the curtains and covered the tiled floor in a light yellow transparency. It was almost comforting in a way, despite how it made Ouma’s eyes burn a little. </p><p>Then he looked around more thoroughly, noticing the lack of a certain big softie. Kokichi groaned, rubbing his forehead as he wheeled himself over to the chess table that sat between two chairs. Of course Gonta stood him up, he thought, why wouldn’t he? After all the horrible crap he put him through, standing him up was one of the kindest things he could do. He deserved every bit of embarrassment that came with it. </p><p>He placed a hand on the white chess piece that was nearest to him, it being one of the pawns. He slid it two spaces up, then grabbing a black pawn and moving it up only one. He chuckled, grabbing that same white pawn and knocking the black one out, setting it down on his side of the table. It wasn’t exactly fun, but it helped him pass the time. </p><p> Piece after piece, Ouma was at war with himself yet again, but this time it was more innocent. </p><p>Suddenly, he heard loud footsteps running down the hall. He jumped a little in his seat, his body stiffening up at the unexpected pattering. He turned his wheelchair around carefully, keeping in mind Amami’s warning about spinning around too fast. His wheelchair wobbled a little, but he was able to maintain his balance pretty well. His eyes darted to the entrance of the day room, heart stopping as a large figure stood in the doorway. </p><p>“G-Gonta?”</p><p>“Gonta sorry he late! Gonta got distracted by Shinguji-Kun’s story,” the much taller boy panted, taking deep, staggered breaths. Ouma sat there speechless, not being able to find the words to say anything. He was just so surprised to see Gonta right there in front of him again. It had seemed like forever since he saw his gentle eyes look at him with kindness. To think that even before he was dragged off to his execution he had looked at Kokichi with the same sympathy and kindness he did in that very moment. </p><p>Gokuhara strutted over gingerly, fiddling with his fingers anxiously. “G-Gonta know you probably don’t want to see him again after what he did to Miu, but he just wanted to apologize,” the taller spoke in a wavering voice, tears already welling in his eyes. He brought his large hands up to his eyes, wiping away the oncoming water works. </p><p>Kokichi looked at him with an unreadable expression. On one hand, he pitied Gonta for being so emotional and taking responsibility for something that was most definitely not his fault. On the other hand, he felt genuine guilt watching the taller begin to sob in front of him. As much as he wanted to say anything, ANYTHING at all, he just couldn’t get the words out without choking on his own silent sob he was trying so desperately to hold down. </p><p>The taller sniffled, rubbing his eyes as he exclaimed, “Gonta understands that what he did w-was very wrong, but he is trying to make amends with everyone. Especially with Kokichi and Miu. So Gonta is very s-sorry.” Gonta hiccuped, tears running down his face as he wept softly into his hands. The shorter watched in an unsettling silence as Gokuhara cried in front of him and spoke apologies like a broken record. </p><p>Kokichi sighed, deciding it was finally time to speak up, praying to whatever god there was that he wouldn’t start crying, too. “Hey Gonta, uh… it’s okay. Don’t apologize to me… you didn’t do anything wrong,” he said softly, biting the inside of his cheek. He listened closely as Gokuhara’s cries grew quieter and soon came to a temporary stop. “Wh-Why? Gonta killed Miu and left Kokichi alone… he betrayed you guys,” the other choked out, sniffling again and rubbing his nose. </p><p>“Gonta, this isn’t your fault!” Ouma yelled, almost annoyed. Was the other really that stupid? </p><p>“You are not to blame for Miu’s death, or mine, or anyones!” he added, balling up his fists, hands shaking a little, “So stop crying!” Ouma felt bad for lashing out, but he couldn’t help it. He was still on edge, a large part of him not wanting to confront Gokuhara about the events of the killing game. Gonta furrowed his brow solemnly, taking a deep breath as he looked down at the floor. “But Gonta wants to show Kokichi how sad he is,” he murmured, “He wants Kokichi to know he regrets what he did.” </p><p>It really wasn’t getting through that thick skull of his, was it? Ouma suppressed a groan, shaking his head as he sighed heavily. “Well, I don’t want you to be sad, Gonta.” The taller’s head shot back up, looking down at him. “What?” he asked, hands trembling. The shorter looked at the other with a stern gaze. “I don’t want you to be sad. Be happy that everyone is okay now. Be happy that none of what happened in the killing game was real.”</p><p>Kokichi took a deep breath, exhaling with a harsh huff. “Be happy for me, if that’ll help you lift your spirits,” he mumbled, crossing his arms. He examined closely as Gonta’s eyes glistened with new tears and he took a few more steps forward, now directly in front of Ouma. Kokichi looked up at him with a confused look, but stiffened when he saw the taller fall to his knees in front of Ouma to match his height. </p><p>Before the shorter boy could say anything, large arms wrapped around him and engulfed him in a hug. He could hear the soft whimpers that slipped from Gonta’s lips as he held him tight. Although panic was the first thing he felt, it slowly began to burn into a combination of a subtle serenity and confusion. “What are you--.” “Gonta will be happy for Kokichi,” Gokuhara said softly, “And will do anything he can to help to lift the others’ moods, too! Including Kokichi’s, of course. So Gonta decided to give him a hug to help him feel better! But Gonta apologize for the awkward position. It is kinda hard to hug someone in wheelchair.” </p><p>Ouma couldn’t help but chuckle, eyes fluttering shut as he rested his hands on Gonta’s arms. “Uh, thanks buddy. I appreciate your efforts. But don’t make me your top priority…” he exclaimed with a calm tone of voice, “The others deserve your help more than I do. Don’t you dare pity me with your kindness.” “But Kokichi is just as worthy of happiness as everyone else! While Kokichi perhaps did some odd things in the game, Gonta know there is good in him,” the taller boy proclaimed, hugging the purple haired boy even tighter. </p><p>He gasped for air, the hug becoming a little too tight for his liking. “G-Gonta, you’re choking me-e!” he choked out, lightly jabbing at his arms. Gokuhara immediately pulled away, looking away almost ashamed. “Gonta sorry!” he apologized, to which Ouma giggled and waved to him dismissively. “Don’t be! I know you’d never kill someone like me,” the smaller said with a bratty tone, “Or more so you wouldn’t be able to. Because y’know, it’ll take more than a tight hug to kill me again!” </p><p>Gonta laughed, wiping away his few remaining tears with his finger. “Gonta glad he didn’t hurt Kokichi,” he started, “Gonta would never be able to forgive himself if he actually did…” Kokichi noticed the now saddened look on the taller’s face and decided to change the subject. “Hey Gonta, have you ever played chess?” Kokichi inquired, tilting his head to the side while looking up at Gokuhara with wide eyes. The other shook his head.</p><p>“No,” he replied, fiddling with his fingers, “Gonta has never played chess before. Does Kokichi want Gonta to play it with him?” Ouma nodded excitedly with a grin on his face. “Yes, of course! I’ll teach you the ropes, and before you know it, you’ll be a chess master! Not as good as me obviously, but you’ll be up there!” he shot back, hands shaking with glee as he turned his wheelchair back around and put the chess pieces back in their original places quickly. </p><p>Gokuhara sat down in one of the chairs, sitting on the side with the black pieces, while Ouma wheeled himself over and shoved the chair on the other side out of the way. He picked up a pawn, motioning for Gonta to do the same, which he did swiftly. “This is a pawn! They can only move two spaces on their first turn, but after that, it’s only one space. They can only go forward, so no backsies! And they capture diagonally, too. That means they take out the other player’s piece. Oh, and if two pawns are across each other and right next to one another, they can’t move until one of them moves! That might’ve been a tad confusing, but I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it, big guy!” </p><p>The taller boy smiled giddily, nodding as Kokichi explained the other pieces and rules to him as simply as he could (which wasn’t all too simply, considering chess is a tad complicated for beginners). But knowing Gonta, he did his best to comprehend the words leaving Ouma’s mouth, even though he didn’t exactly know what a rook was until Kokichi described it as “that little castle thingy”. Nonetheless, Gonta seemed to catch on fairly quickly, and thus began their first game of chess. </p><p>☆ ★ ☆</p><p>The two had lost count of the amount of games they played, and when they checked the time, it was after noon. They must had played for a good few hours, they concluded. And although Kokichi was the obvious victor, there were one or two games where he let Gonta win just to see the cheerful smile on his face. However, considering they were so entranced in their games, they hadn’t even noticed two people watching from the doorway. </p><p>Amami sighed contently, looking at the two sitting at the table. Shinguji stood beside him, a soft smile on his lips that were now instead covered by a standard hospital mask. “I’m glad to see they are getting along,” Korekiyo commented, tilting his head to the side a tad. Rantaro nodded, a smile soon appearing on his face as well. “I’m proud of how quickly Kokichi is adapting to the hospital. I mean, he’s only really met about three or four people at this point, but he’s doing much better than I thought he would.” </p><p>“Agreed,” the taller shot back, crossing his arms behind his back, “Though I do hope his reunions with some of our other classmates go somewhat as well.” Rantaro let out a strained exhale, looking at the two with a stern gaze. “Yeah, I hope so, too. I guess we’ll just have to see, huh?” Korekiyo chuckled, shaking his head. “Indeed; we will just have to see.” </p><p>There was a silence until Amami spoke up. “Do you think we should leave before they see us? I wouldn’t want to ruin the moment.” The slightly shorter male scratched the back of his neck anxiously, looking to the other. Shinguji nodded, replying, “Yes, I do think we should go. Come love, lunch will be ready soon.”</p><p>Rantaro’s cheeks grew a subtle red as he grasped onto his partner’s hand, walking with him down the hall as Gonta and Kokichi’s laughs could be heard in the distance behind them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i wanted to make this more angsty, but decided to not because i wanna save the real angst for when kokichi and miu talk to each other for the first time. and of course i sprinkled in some amaguji because while they are very much a background ship, i love them both a lot and wanted to add that little snippet at the end. as always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!! thank you so much for reading!! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Fifth Trial</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey guys, i'm so sorry this took so long!! i took a little time to focus on myself and relax, but i made sure that i would get back to this as well!! i hope you all enjoy this chapter and thank you for being so patient with me!! :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kokichi giggled, placing his piece down and yelling, “Checkmate!” Gonta groaned, letting out an exasperated sigh. “How is Kokichi so good at chess?” he asked, looking to the other with a confused expression. The purple haired boy just shrugged with a chuckle, looking to the side. “I don’t know,” he replied, “I guess I just have some special gift!” The taller smiled gently.</p>
<p>“Kokichi is very talented. Gonta wishes he was as talented at Kokichi,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. Ouma nearly began to cackle, holding back the urge to laugh right then and there. “Oh Gonta, don’t say that! Yes, I am very talented, but everyone has quirks that make them special in their own ways,” the shorter exclaimed with a grin, reaching over and patting the back of Gokuhara’s hand. </p>
<p>Gonta’s smile grew as he chuckled, looking down at Ouma with a squinted grin. “Thank you Kokichi! But Gonta is pretty sure his talent isn’t chess…” he stated, repositioning and fixing his glasses. The smaller boy bit the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, you got a point there. But I’m certain you’ll find your special talent soon enough!” he said happily, clasping his hands together, “I’m sure it’s something really cool, too. Like tap dancing or computer programming!” Gokuhara cocked an eyebrow, looking at Kokichi with confusion gracing his features. “Gonta is pretty sure he doesn’t know how to program or tap dance… but he’d love to learn!” </p>
<p>“That’s the spirit!” Kokichi laughed, chest heaving with a warm feeling. Something that rested in his lungs and filled him with contentment. It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time, though the only recent time he could recall feeling even nearly as calm was in his final moments in the game. But maybe that was just the poison rushing to his head. It would be stupid to think that Kaito had the same effect on him that Gonta seemed to have right now. </p>
<p>With the sudden realization that Kaito is still in the game currently, Kokichi’s eyes widened a little. He remembered Rantaro saying that the trial would be on in around a few hours. And when did he say that again? Ouma bit the inside of his cheek again, recalling him saying that earlier that morning. Perhaps around nine-ish? The small boy searched the room for a clock, and upon finding one hung up on the wall above the entrance, he let out a soft gasp. It was already almost one! How long had he been playing chess with Gokuhara?!</p>
<p>He heard Gonta’s voice from across the table asking him if he was okay, but Kokichi just nodded frantically. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine! Oh, uh, y’know the trials?” he exclaimed, hands immediately shooting down to the wheels on his wheelchair and pushing himself away from the table. The taller male nodded, swiftly standing up himself. “Yes, Gonta knows the trials! But uh… he didn’t like them very much. Why is Kokichi asking?” he replied. Ouma tapped his fingers against the rims of the wheels anxiously, guiding himself towards the exit of the day room. “Well, I don’t know if you know this, but you can actually watch the trials from here,” the smaller said. </p>
<p>“Oh, Gonta knew that! Does Kokichi want to watch the trial?” he questioned, tilting his head to the side. Kokichi nodded, wheeling himself out of the day room with Gokuhara behind him. “Yep!” he answered with a grin, but Gonta furrowed his brow. “Why does Kokichi want to watch the trial? The trials are sad…” the tall boy murmured, rubbing his arm while looking down at the other. Ouma took a deep breath, sighing heavily. “Well, I wanna see how Kaito does, obviously! I wanna see him carry on my legacy and defeat this stupid killing game!” he shot back, a feeling of subtle pride washing over him. The idea of Momota continuing what he wished he could do made him a tad jealous… no, pretty jealous. He’d rather it be him out there, but he knew Kaito was taking this seriously. More seriously than Kokichi would’ve. Maybe that would help the astronaut win this. </p>
<p>“Oh, well that makes sense,” Gonta started, “Gonta doesn’t really want to watch it, but he won’t stop Kokichi if he wants to!” Ouma couldn’t help but smile softly, approaching the dining hall and seeing Rantaro sitting at a table with Korekiyo, talking amongst themselves calmly. “Amami-Chan!” the purple haired boy exclaimed, waving over to him, “Has the trial started yet?!” Amami looked away from Shinguji, eyeing Ouma as he stared at him with an unreadable expression. The green haired boy chuckled, getting up from his seat while replying, “It’s getting set up right now. Are you ready to watch it?” </p>
<p>Kokichi nodded eagerly, practically jumping in his seat, though he really couldn’t. Rantaro chuckled at his excitement, shaking his head with a smirk. “Okay, that’s great. We can either watch it in here, in the day room, or your room. Take your pick,” he explained, striding over to Kokichi who pondered for a moment before answering, “I think my room would be best. I’d prefer a more private place, if we’re being honest.” </p>
<p>A soft chuckle could be heard from the table that Amami was sitting at, Korekiyo adding, “Well, isn’t that a sight-- Ouma being honest.” Kokichi groaned, rolling his eyes as fought the urge to flip the tall male off. Instead he went with a witty comeback, something he’s grown to be good at. “Well isn’t this a sight-- Shinguji-Chan actually making a useful observation.” Korekiyo couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head. “Glad to see you haven’t changed too much, though that isn’t necessarily a good thing per say.” “Same goes for you,” Kokichi grinned, “Great to see you’re just as creepy as always!” He heard a long and drawn out sigh come from the other as he closed his eyes, tapping his fingers against the handle of his coffee mug. </p>
<p>Rantaro cleared his throat, motioning for Kokichi to follow him. Gonta bid him farewell as he walked down to his own room nearing the end of the hallway. As they began to make their way to his room, Amami asked the question he knew he was bound to ask eventually. </p>
<p>“So how’d it go with Gonta?”</p>
<p>“It went well,” he replied without much thought. And surprisingly, aftering pondering for a moment, he realized that wasn’t a lie. It didn’t go nearly as bad as he had expected, seeing as Gokuhara took most of the fault for what Kokichi did. In all actuality, the worst part was the guilt he felt while watching the other cry and blame himself. But other than that emotional crap, it was pretty nice. Especially chess, which he could tell Gonta was almost enjoying. He never took Gonta for a chess kind of guy, but after seeing how interested he was in it, he came to the conclusion that maybe he found a new friend to play with. </p>
<p>Amami smiled and sighed in relief, rubbing the back of his neck as he exclaimed, “Good… in all honesty, I was thinking it’d be a little rough. But I’m really happy to know it went well.” Kokichi couldn’t help but smile as well, chuckling as he let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “Same here, heh. But he wasn’t mad at all… if anything he felt guilty. And that made me feel even more guilty. He thought what happened was his fault,” the shorter explained, biting his lip. “It was kinda stupid, really.” </p>
<p>“Hey, don’t say that… he was the same way with Miu,” Rantaro shot back, glancing down at the purple haired boy, “He just… I don’t know.” The green haired male rubbed his forehead with a heavy sigh, shaking his head. “I guess he just processed everything differently then most of us did,” he added with a shrug. “Ah...” Kokichi murmured as they entered his hospital room, looking down at the floor. He approached the side of his bed, signaling for Rantaro to help him up into it, which of course the other obliged. </p>
<p>“Alright,” Amami started, “I’ll get the TV turned on and what not.” Kokichi watched closely as the taller boy grabbed a remote, pointing it towards the television and clicking the power button. The screen lit up and displayed a children’s show, Ouma staring at it intently. There were three kids in a forest, laughing at walking along a stream. He had never seen it before, but he just couldn’t look away as a wave of a somewhat calmness washed over him. It was almost comforting, as odd as it may seem. </p>
<p>The other seemed to pick up on Ouma’s interest, chuckling softly. “That show’s called Craig of the Creek, I think. It’s usually on between noon and two every weekday, but then it’ll just be on at random times other than that. It’s a nice show,” he explained calmly, “Can I turn it to the trial now?” Kokichi tore himself away from the screen, looking over to the taller and nodding. “Yeah,” he answered, “You can turn it. I can watch the other shows later.” Rantaro hummed in response, pressing what seemed to be the input button on the remote and selecting a random setting. </p>
<p>Ouma’s eyes widened as he saw the trial room in its full view, intently focusing on the portraits of the ‘deceased’ that stood at the empty podiums. Kaede, Kirumi, Tenko, Korekiyo, the list went on and on until he found himself looking at his own podium. He squinted, admiring the picture of his face with an orange question mark over it. He appreciated how it made him stand out from the others. Then his eyes landed on Kaito’s and he couldn’t help but chuckle as he saw the same orange question mark that covered Ouma’s face was on Momota’s. It looked so bad on his face-- it didn’t match his color scheme at all. But for the record, Ouma had one that was quite similar. His purple was a violet, though. Not a magenta-y color. </p>
<p>“That orange doesn’t go with him at all,” Kokichi commented with a smirk, pointing to Kaito’s portrait that was currently on screen. Amami stifled a laugh, replying, “I mean, you’re kind of right. It clashes with his hair and makes it look a little weird.” “Ugh, Amami-Chan stop being so nice about it! It looks like shit!” the shorter groaned, running a hand through his hair as Rantaro laughed, placing a hand over his mouth to attempt to quiet himself. “Okay, okay, you’re right. It does look pretty shitty.” </p>
<p>“Of course I’m right, I’m always right,” Kokichi boasted, crossing his arms with a huff as he rolled his eyes, “But that’s besides the point. When is this trial gonna get started? I’m bored!” Rantaro looked around the room, humming quietly to himself. “Probably in the next few minutes, I would assume. It looks like it, at least.” The shorter boy nodded in response, clasping his hands together as his eyes stayed glued to the screen. He couldn’t wait. He didn’t want to wait. </p>
<p>Hopefully he wouldn’t be disappointed. </p>
<p>☆ ★ ☆</p>
<p>Finally it started, and boy oh boy was Ouma on the edge of his seat.</p>
<p>It all started with the exisal coming out of nowhere and hopping behind Kaito’s podium, speaking to the remaining survivors in his usual Kaito-y way. But Kokichi couldn’t help but notice how his voice appeared to be drained and saddened, exhausted even. Despite the words that came from the machine, it didn’t seem like Kaito, even though Kokichi knew full well it was. But it just didn’t feel like him. Ouma was probably just imagining it, though.</p>
<p>Then the switch happened and Kokichi smiled as Momota seemed to match his personality better than he had assumed he would (which is saying a lot). And he couldn’t help but giggle at the Frank Sinatra song that followed suit, which he assumed was a favored artist of Kaito’s considering he always boasted about how much he cared for oldies music. And Himiko’s comment that came right after only added to his laughter. Maybe Kaito chose that for him? Because it captured his character well? </p>
<p>No Kokichi, stop being so selfish. He wouldn’t do that for you. It was just to help the act. You’re a theratric person, he told himself, of course they wouldn’t think a little singing was out of character. Momota is just doing what he thinks you would do. Kaito wouldn’t dare be thinking about you right now, he told himself, why the hell would he want to think about the person who fucked up his life?</p>
<p>But Kaito’s performance had already amazed him immensely. Not that he would’ve chosen him if he didn’t think Momota could handle it. Yes, he tended to call him an idiot and what not, but he knew deep down just how talented and smart the other was. He could make fun of Kaito all he wanted, but that didn’t mean he didn’t acknowledge his abilities. In all honesty, he was a tad jealous, though he would never admit it. He would give a great deal to be as kind and accepting as the astronaut was. Though it didn’t fit his character in the game at all, he wished he could be surrounded by loving friends like Kaito was. </p>
<p>Enough about that, though. This wasn’t a time to long for friendship, this was a time to make sure Momota didn’t fuck this up.</p>
<p>And to Ouma’s relief, he wasn’t. </p>
<p>However, hearing his voice being emitted from the exisal made his stomach churn with uneasiness. Or maybe disgust was a better word to describe it. Did he always sound that annoying? He understood that he wasn’t the most tolerable, that was plain and simple. But his voice made him want to rip out his eardrums. He sounded like some bratty kid who hit puberty a little too early. Or just a bitch.</p>
<p>Yeah, he sounded like a bitch.</p>
<p>How did Gonta put up with him and his bullshit? How did anyone, even for just mere moments? If the conclusion he was drawing was correct, everyone else probably wanted to rip their eardrums out, too. Not that he would blame them. No, he wouldn’t blame them at all. While it made him equally upset to be seen as annoying and as a burden, he also now had a basic understanding as to why they would see him that way. </p>
<p>Why were his emotions always so conflicting? On one hand, he could care less how others viewed him. It’s not his problem. On the other, it ate at him from the inside out. The idea of other people forgetting about him and disregarding him like trash made him undeniably angry. The judgement he was sure he got whenever he opened his mouth clawed at him subconsciously. He took account of all the annoyed glares and disgusted expressions, but he wouldn’t dare think about it too long or bring it up. Just because he was obnoxiously independent doesn’t mean he couldn’t be influenced by others. </p>
<p>He’s a person, too. </p>
<p>Ouma wasn’t some apathetic robot or a downright sociopath-- he had emotions and feelings. Some were nice and fuzzy; others were painful and made him want to rip his hair out. Sometimes the line between them was blurred as well. But needless to say, Kokichi wasn’t the god-like being he tried to be. In reality, he was a scared little boy who’s ribs showed through his skin. However, if you do have a heart, you have to protect it from everything. He had learned that the hard way. Never again, he had told him, never again will I let someone hurt me. </p>
<p>Maybe that’s why he put up the front. To protect himself. But sometimes it seemed like even Kokichi didn’t know why he acted the way he did. In all honesty, there wasn’t really a method to his madness. He didn’t have any more excuses for why he did the things he did and continued to do. The funny part is that made him upset. Ouma would have to take accountability. And that scared him more than getting in trouble in the first place. He cursed himself for being so complicated, even with himself. </p>
<p>He was snapped abruptly out of his thoughts by Kaito’s voice. </p>
<p>Kokichi’s eyes darted right back to the screen, seeing Momota now in front of his own podium and using his own voice again. To his surprise, he found himself relaxing a bit from his tense state he hadn’t even known he was in. He chuckled, shaking his head. To think Momo-Chan’s voice had eased him during one of his downward spirals. He felt his face growing warmer as he groaned, running a hand through his hair. </p>
<p>He told himself it was because his plan was working that he felt better.</p>
<p>But he knew it wasn’t just that. </p>
<p>Kaito’s stupid voice made his heart feel a bit happier just on its own. </p>
<p>Why had him and Momota fought so much? Why did he banter with him every chance he got? Was it just to elicit a funny, over the top reaction to get a few laughs? Or maybe he just longed for some opportunity to one-up someone? But Kokichi knew it wasn’t that light hearted. He knew full well that he gave Kaito a hard time. He could’ve stopped at any moment but he didn’t. Now, he’ll admit, he was a pretty big asshole in the game. But that didn’t give him the excuse to make it hard on the other. </p>
<p>Momota and him had their differences; that was plain to see. Kaito was all about believing in people and trusting everyone, which to Kokichi was the most idiotic thing he had ever heard. On the other hand, it was obvious Ouma stood for doubt and skepticism, which he assumed Kaito had his own negative opinions on. And while having different ideologies is completely okay, the way him and Kaito handled it was not. They clawed at each other for thinking the way they did. He knew Kaito probably thought he was just as stupid as Kokichi thought he was. </p>
<p>For fuck’s sake, Kokichi got three (potentially four) people killed just for being himself. And Kaito believing in Kaede and Gonta with all his heart and fighting for them during their trials could have easily gotten everyone else killed as well. Now that he thought about it, they were both idiots in their own ways. But at the same time, that also helped them become who they were. </p>
<p>Hero and villain. </p>
<p>Good and bad.</p>
<p>Kaito and Kokichi.</p>
<p>He didn’t hate Kaito; not at all. Yes, he disliked his macho man attitude and his idiocy at times and his ability to draw people to him so easily and actually maintain good relationships with them. Sure, they bickered constantly and Ouma had always seemed to antagonize him for no good reason at all. He could go on and on about all the unnecessary crap he put Kaito through, but he could never go on about how he hated him. Although he didn’t know if Momota felt the same way, he sure hoped he at least acknowledged that Ouma didn’t want him dead. But if how he was acting in the hanger was genuine, then Kokichi could assume he didn’t want him dead, either. Not at all.</p>
<p>And speaking of dead, he had to make sure Kaito didn’t end up a bloody corpse like his late classmates had. </p>
<p>He would chuckle to himself upon hearing some of the things he wrote down in his script. It made him smirk how well his words were fooling them. He had to stifle his laughter upon seeing Maki so angry with him. The threats and curses that slipped out of her mouth as she fumbled over her words was quite the sight. If only she knew it was actually Kaito inside the exisal. Ouma almost couldn’t wait until Momota was able to jump out and congratulate them on finally tricking Monokuma and screwing up the game for good. </p>
<p>But then again, that did mean he would get to reunite with all his friends who were still alive. He would get to see Maki and Shuichi again and survive alongside them. Sure, they would all wake up eventually like everyone else had and Kokichi would get to see all of them as well, but he wouldn’t get the love and appreciation he was sure Kaito would get. Especially from his little training trio. God, it seemed like both Shuichi and Maki had the fattest crushes on Momota. They cared so much about him, despite having only known him for a short period of time. Not that Ouma was jealous or anything. He could care less.</p>
<p>You should just be thankful you were greeted the way you were, Kokichi scolded himself with a sigh. He shouldn’t get all greedy and expect much more than he deserved. In all honesty, Maki not choking him to the point of passing out would be more than enough of a reunion. But the idea of even talking to Harukawa seemed to drain all color from his face. If he was still hesitant to talk to Miu, then there was no way he could dive head first into talking to Maki. </p>
<p>The purple haired boy rested his head against his pillow with a heavy sigh, eyes now again locked with the tv screen and its contents shown. He didn’t have time to worry about Maki or the others. Kaito was in probably the most stressful situation of his life. The least Kokichi could do was have some sympathy and cheer him on. So with a heavy heart, his features contorted into a determined expression and he turned all his attention to the trial. </p>
<p>☆ ★ ☆</p>
<p>“You fucking idiot!” </p>
<p>Ouma, now sat on the edge of his hospital bed, looked up at the screen with a mix of anger and disappointment. He couldn’t fucking believe it. Kaito was doing so well, and right when success is just within reach, he screwed it up. That dumbass got out of the exisal and stood tall and proud in front of his audience, his coat draped over his shoulder. He watched intently as the camera panned over everyone’s faces, all of them painted with shock and melancholy. </p>
<p>“Kaito, what the fuck?!” Kokichi choked out as tears began to well in his eyes. He furrowed his brow, looking at the televised program as though it would give him the answer. But it just continued to focus on Momota stumbling out of the exisal with a few strained coughs. It was obvious he was succumbing to his illness at this point, dried blood staining his lips.</p>
<p>It didn’t matter at this point, Kokichi knew that. No one actually died in the end, so why was he so upset?</p>
<p>He almost felt betrayed in a sense. He put all his faith into Kaito only to have him confess and set fire to the ending he had scripted and planned for. Maybe he should’ve never even confided in the astronaut. However, he also always knew believing in people would be Momota’s downfall, so why didn’t he see this? Ouma knew he was keeping his friends in mind. And he knew that Momota would never be able to forgive himself if anything happened to them. So perhaps that’s why he gave up.</p>
<p>Still, Ouma wanted to punch him.</p>
<p>But at the same time he just wanted to see him again.</p>
<p>And unfortunately those two wishes were going to come true.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Garden</h2></a>
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    <p>“But you know, when I found out about the plan, I thought it was pretty awesome.”</p>
<p>Kokichi stared intently at the tv with teary eyes, sniffling as he wiped snot from his nose. He had never been a pretty crier, but he could care less right now. He couldn’t help but feel the same as everyone else in that moment. At a loss for words and on the verge of tears. Except some had already let some spill, and Ouma was one of them. </p>
<p>But being praised by Kaito for his plan? </p>
<p>He wasn’t necessarily surprised, since Momota was never shy about preaching of others’ potential and accomplishments. But at the same time it felt so surreal. Was his plan really that awesome? Yes, he put countless hours and so much effort into it, but was it as great as Kaito was making it seem? Kokichi couldn’t really put his finger on it. From someone else’s perspective, he could easily understand how blown away they could be. However, from his perspective, it was all pointless now. </p>
<p>There was no reason for Ouma to have put everyone through all the shit he did, no matter what justification he mustered. Especially considering how none of it was real. All of what he worked for in the game was just a fabrication. Everything he tried so hard to do had been meaningless. All the death, all the betrayal, all the pain… none of it mattered. Once you woke up, you were fine again. No one had died, no matter how gruesome. It made him want to vomit.</p>
<p>Seeing how distraught everyone was after Kaito had revealed himself made him feel awful. At least they would be able to see him again in due time. Him and Maki and Shuichi can go back to their usual training sessions like they used to have. Things will be different, that was a given. But hopefully the survivors would wake up and get to see him again, all happy and well. Not sick and dying like he stood right before them. </p>
<p>Of course they had questions. So many questions. They all stood in disbelief as the person they knew would never EVER stoop to murder was revealed as the blackened. They had their doubts, which they had every right to have. Despite his flaws, Kokichi knew Kaito would be a good candidate for the plan. Having the least likely person do it? Of course it would fool them. But with their doubts, they also had their criticisms. Most of all: Maki.</p>
<p>“If you knew it was pointless from the start, then you shouldn’t have gone that far..!” </p>
<p>And Kaito had his responses. </p>
<p>“Nah, it wasn’t pointless. It ended up being a huge success.”</p>
<p>Ouma’s eyes went wide. “What..?” he mumbled to himself, rubbing his eyes. Now Momota was just messing with him. What the hell was he talking about? He failed; he messed up big time. All he had worked to create had crumbled in front of him on live television. Even if it was never real, it still felt undeniably embarrassing. Was it because it didn’t work, or was it because it wouldn’t matter in the end even if it did? But what was Kaito going on about? It was obviously pointless if it didn’t work. To his surprise, it was as though Kaito had heard his confusion. </p>
<p>“Because of this plan and Kokichi pretending to be the mastermind… we got closer to the true mastermind’s lair,” Momota added.</p>
<p>Kokichi couldn’t help but smile weakly as tears dripped off his chin, hiccupping as he attempted to wipe them away. <i>I guess he’s right<i>, Ouma thought, I suppose even this failure helped to push forward in some way shape or form. It brought a warm feeling to his chest. If Momota was right, then even this wasn’t meaningless. Although what went down wasn’t actually real, at least he helped to hurry up the game’s finale. But soon came more criticism, now from Kiibo.</i></i></p>
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<p>“You talk as if… he was your partner. When you hated him so strongly before…”</p>
<p>“Oh, I hate his guts. Honestly, I’m still pissed off at him. He made us go through so much crap. To the end-- no, even beyond that… he was a lying sack of shit,” Kaito replied with a sigh.</p>
<p>“Wow, thanks Momo-Chan,” Ouma scoffed, crossing his arms, “Even <i>I<i> don’t hate your guts. The least you can do is show me some sympathy.” Momota was one hundred percent right, though. All the horrible things he put them through could not be excused. Although he had every right to be mad at Kaito for saying it so nonchalantly, he couldn’t deny he was in the right and he himself was in the wrong. Momota was correct: he was a lying sack of shit. Hopefully he could make it up to everyone, including him. But he was sure a simple apology wouldn’t be enough.</i></i></p>
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<p>The purple haired boy in the hospital bed ran a hand through his hair as he looked away from the screen for a moment. A part of him couldn’t wait to apologize and make up. There was so much of Kaito that he didn’t understand, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to know more about him. And it was insanely obvious that Momota wanted to know more about him, too. Maybe they could actually hold a respectful conversation like they had in the hanger. He sure hoped so. </p>
<p>However, he knew his relationship with everyone would never be perfect. Kokichi as a whole could be an asshole sometimes. He was willful, stubborn, manipulative and more. Even if his ingame persona was exaggerated, that didn’t mean it wasn’t based on his usual personality and qualities. He was just waiting for the lectures he would get from Kaito when he woke up. All the talking he’s sure Kaito would want to do with him. All the conversations with heavy hearts and grim topics neither of them really wanted to touch but knew they had to discuss at some point. </p>
<p>He was also waiting for that hug. He couldn’t help but smile to himself. But who knew if Momota even wanted that hug anymore. He wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. However, deep down he hoped he would at least greet him with a warm smile. That in itself would be enough. </p>
<p>Ouma was snapped from his thoughts by Maki yelling. “I’ve never felt this way before!” she choked out, dagger in hand and an angry expression on her face. Kokichi quirked an eyebrow at her, listening carefully as she began to go on about how she had never fought to protect someone and had never been given a nickname like “Maki Roll” before. Harukawa was falling apart, and Kokichi didn’t know whether to laugh or feel bad for her. Yes, she has said countless times that he deserved to be dead, but even she seemed to have emotions like everyone else. She was just as fragile as Kokichi knew she always was. </p>
<p>“And I’ve never… fallen for someone before!” </p>
<p>Ouma couldn’t help but have his mouth fall slightly agape. Maki confessing her feelings right before Momota’s about to die? What a stupid idea. He really thought she was smarter than that and would spare herself the extra despair. But here she was, crying in front of the man she had finally felt feelings for and who was about to die in such a gruesome way. Was she really that fucking dumb? </p>
<p>“Get over it,” Ouma scoffed apathetically, sighing heavily, “You could’ve at least waited until you woke up, dumbass. But I guess you don’t actually know that, huh? Guess I can’t blame you then.” He closely admired her pained expression and the tears that rolled down her cheeks as she stood trembling, the occasional hiccup escaping her quivering lips. It was a pitiful sight to see. He’d seen this kind of reaction emitted from people before, but seeing it come from <i>Harukawa<i>? It made him chuckle solemnly.</i></i></p>
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<p>“I guess she’s a person, too…” he mumbled to no one but himself. </p>
<p>☆ ★ ☆</p>
<p>After a tear filled and sappy goodbye, Momota was dragged off like all the previous blackeneds had been.</p>
<p> And his execution was quite the sight to see, if Ouma was being completely honest.</p>
<p>It was pretty, despite the fact he was in space without the proper equipment and dying all the while. Stars glimmered and gleamed around the rocket ship as Momota sat still in his chair, arms crossed with sweat running down his face. Blood dripped down his lip and chin as occasional coughs would slip out, pink starting to cover the interior. It was more bloody and gross the longer he looked at it. The tears that welled in Momota’s eyes as he was quickly succumbing to the pain. It made his heart ache. It felt as though the air that Kaito was robbed of had been robbed of him as well. </p>
<p>He had seen people being murdered and executions happen right before him, so why was this any different? </p>
<p>Ouma didn’t dare think about that.</p>
<p>He wouldn’t <i>dare<i> be stupid like Maki. </i></i></p>
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<p>However, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the screen. A part of him hoped Kaito would somehow make it out alive and surprise all his friends. He could hug them all close and continue fighting alongside them. He could help them reveal the sick mastermind. But he knew there was no way he was getting out of this. If the execution didn’t kill him, his illness definitely would. </p>
<p>And that’s exactly what happened. A few last harsh coughs and he lay still, eyes fluttering shut as blood stained his shirt and lips. His chest stopped heaving and his mouth fell slightly agape. But he was smiling. Kaito was <i>dying<i> for fuck’s sake and he was smiling! </i></i></p>
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<p>The rocket fell down to the school again, the words “execution failed” blinking on the screen attached to it. Rubble shot out from the floor, everyone taking cover the best they could and Kiibo running in front of them to attempt to shield the blow. Once the dust settled, the hatch opened, and out came the corpse of the former ultimate astronaut. There he lay, dead and at peace, in front of everyone. And as the camera panned over Monokuma, you could tell he was furious. </p>
<p>Maybe that’s why Momota was smiling. </p>
<p>Because he got to defy Monokuma one last time. </p>
<p>“I guess he was true to his word,” Kokichi spoke softly, “‘I’m not gonna die the way you want.’” And that on its own brought a smile to Ouma as well. </p>
<p>☆ ★ ☆</p>
<p>“Ouma, are you okay?” Kaede asked the boy, sitting with him in the dining hall. Some time after the trial was finished, Kokichi left to get a drink to help calm himself down and feel more refreshed. Unfortunately, it wasn’t really working all that well. He still felt so tense and upset. He hated it so much. He hated how someone else could have that effect on him.</p>
<p>He just shrugged, taking a long sip of water. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why are you always so nosy, Kaede?” he shot back, rolling his eyes. Ouma could hear an offended gasp come from the other as she narrowed her gaze and furrowed her brow. “Kokichi, that’s not nice. I was just trying to ask if you’re feeling alright,” she exclaimed almost sternly. The shorter boy just groaned, leaning against the back of his wheelchair. </p>
<p>“But seriously, are you okay?” she repeated, “I know the trial was on a short while ago and well.. I understand if that’s why you’re not feeling the best.” The blonde took a sip of her own drink before taking a bite of a PB&amp;J uncrustable provided by the hospital. Ouma looked at her with unintentional disgust, nose scrunching up a bit. “Don’t fucking remind me...” he let a mumble slip out, putting the cup back to his lips to clear his throat. </p>
<p>The purple haired boy didn’t even have to look at Akamatsu to see the concern on his face. “So I’m guessing that gave you a hard time… I’m uh… sorry the plan didn’t work,” she exclaimed, hand hesitantly placing itself beside his, “It definitely was incredible, though.” Kokichi just sat still, gulping down a large sum of water before setting the cup down louder than he intended. His eyes eventually found their way to Kaede’s; kind magenta eyes with an undeniable amount of care inside. He knew that she was being genuine with her words, but he couldn’t help but scoff.</p>
<p>“Of course it was incredible. You shouldn’t have expected any less from me,” he shot back with a chuckle, rolling his eyes. The blonde giggled in response, then let out a sigh as she added, “That’s right.” </p>
<p>Kokichi knew she was trying her best to help him. To help him fix his mistakes and better himself. She wanted him to be the best he could possibly be. She wanted him to see his potential to be a good person and the great things he could do. She wanted him to stop being such a nuisance to everyone else and actually contribute something useful for once. She wanted him to stop fucking everything up and ruining anything he touched. </p>
<p>He felt a soft, warm hand on his and he flinched on instinct before stiffening up. Kokichi’s eyes shot to Akamatsu who had finally placed her hand on his in a comforting manner. The look in her eyes, the sympathy and perhaps even empathy that they stored, shot a pang of guilt through his heart. “And I’ll expect some great things in the future, too. Got that?” she said with a warm smile, tilting her head to the side a tad. Ouma’s lips parted, but it took him a moment to find the words. “Okay,” was all he could muster. </p>
<p>Kaede’s hand retreated back to her uncrustable, taking another few bites as the boy sat still. Although still a tad tense, he had calmed down a little and was able to take a deep breath of air. To think even such a comforting gesture could get him all frightened and defensive made him frown on himself. <i>The least you could’ve done was accept it and thank her<i>, he scolded himself internally, <i>But no, instead you had to get all tense and look like you were scared of her<i>. His brow furrowed a bit as he carefully picked up his glass with slightly shaky hands and took a last long sip until there was nothing left. </i></i></i></i></p>
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<p>He excused himself for a moment to put the empty cup in the dirty dish bin, wheeling off and setting inside carefully. Ouma made his way back, running a hand through his hair before exclaiming, “I think I’m gonna go check out the garden. See ‘ya later, Kaeidiot!” She groaned, shaking her head in dismay before waving him goodbye with a gentle grin. “Okay, you have fun with that.” He waved back, then placing his hands on the rims of the wheels, he pushed himself out of the dining hall and down another hall. </p>
<p>The boy had only seen the garden during Rantaro’s little tour, but he wasn’t given a chance to really see what beauties it actually possessed. Perhaps it would help him blow off some steam after the trial. He told himself not to think about it too much anymore, since it obviously brought him a great deal of dismay. But he knew it was an inevitable topic that he would discuss with the man himself who was forced to fulfill his wish (and failed, might he add). </p>
<p>Soon enough Kokichi reached the garden, automatic doors opening to a secluded place outside. The first thing he noticed was the fountain that sat in the per say middle of the garden, crystal clear water spilling from the spouts and falling gracefully to the bottom. Ornate designs were sculpted onto its stone structure, consisting of things such as geometric shapes and floral designs (as he would expect from a garden). Overall, a gorgeous sight to see all around. It made the flora filled place have an even nicer appearance. </p>
<p>He wheeled himself around the fountain and towards some bushes with roses sprawled out along them. Ouma took a quick look around before plucking one out, careful of the thorns that covered the stem. He admired the dark red petals that looked oh so nice to just rip off. And like a schoolgirl playing the “he loves me, he loves me not” game, he began to tear the soft petals from the flower. The thin, smooth texture that was squashed between his fingers was nice on his skin. No wonder roses were so popular. </p>
<p>“He loves me, he loves me not,” he began with a few laughs, petals falling to the stone tile that covered the pathways. The he in question? Unimportant: that didn’t matter. Maybe there wasn’t even a he that Kokichi was referring to. It was just a silly little grade school tradition he hadn’t done in ages that was momentarily bringing a little bit of amusement. He continued reciting the same lines over and over again until he reached the last petal, this time carefully plucking it out. </p>
<p>“He loves me.” </p>
<p>Ouma looked at the now pathetic petalless rose that was held in his hand, tossing it into the bush again before looking at the petal that still remained in his hand. He stared at it intently, rubbing the softness of it between his thumb and pointer finger. <i>How funny<i>, he thought, <i>Even roses can lie?<i> With that, he tossed the petal into the bush as well before placing his hands back on the wheels of his wheelchair. He attempted to make his way over to the section of warmly colored flowers that varied in kind, but he heard footsteps approaching the garden.</i></i></i></i></p>
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<p>“Gonta really likes the garden! Does Kirumi like the garden, too?” he heard a voice ask, the pounding of steps growing louder as they neared the automatic doors. Kirumi and Gonta? Oh, he hadn’t even talked to Tojo yet! How convenient! He listened closely and a soft voice replied, “Yes, the garden is very nice, Gonta. I wish some of the others here would appreciate its serenity and beauty.” Kokichi grinned as he wheeled over to the door, seeing the two approaching and waving giddily. </p>
<p>Gokuhara waved back with just as much enthusiasm, however Ouma was startled to see Kirumi stop in her tracks. Her eyes went a tad wider as she clenched his hands into fists, though quickly relaxing her fingers and instead placing a hand over her heart. The doors opened as Gonta stepped forward, beckoning for Tojo to follow him inside. “Come on, Kirumi! Ouma is here, too! He can look at the pretty flowers with us!” Kokichi nodded, humming delightfully. </p>
<p>“Hi Kirumi!” the short boy greeted her happily. Tojo’s lips parted, about to speak, but instead she shut her mouth and stepped forward hesitantly. She avoided eye contact with Kokichi for a moment, and once she was inside and the doors shut behind her, she let out a sigh. “Hello, Kokichi. I um… I am very sorry for being so selfish,” she started with a staggered sigh as she looked down at her hands, “I thought I had a country to save but in reality… there was nothing. I’m so sorry for putting all of your lives at stake in the game. Although it was not real, I am incredibly guilty for what I did. I hope you can forgive me.” </p>
<p>Kokichi’s mouth went slightly agape as he quirked an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” he asked, “Don’t be sorry! You had good intentions, and that’s all that matters. And like ‘ya said: it wasn’t even real, so whatevs!” The girl before him furrowed her brow, looking back to him with a solemn expression. “Are you sure? I want to make amends with everyone I could’ve hurt with what I did,” she spoke gently with a voice that would occasionally tremble. Ouma scoffed with a chuckle, waving to her dismissively. “Trust me, mom. What you did was a whole lot more morally just than what some other people did. Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>Kirumi’s lips curved into a saddened smile and she bowed her head. “Thank you, Ouma. But… I thought I told you to stop calling me mom,” she said. The purple haired boy just giggled, smirking as he shot back, “Well, I’m shit at following directions so there’s that.” She just rolled her eyes as she let a few chuckles slip out, shaking her head dismissively. “You haven’t changed much, have you?” “Nope!” he laughed, tapping the rims of the wheels. Her eyes landed on them, adding, “Oh, and if you need any assistance with your wheelchair, I’d be happy to help. I was in the same situations a short while ago.” The boy gave her a thumbs up, a firm nod and a grin. </p>
<p>“Kirumi and Kokichi, come see these flowers! They look so pretty!” Gonta called out from somewhere to their left. Tojo and Ouma locked eyes and they both smiled. Genuine smiles that Kokichi had almost forgotten how to do. But seeing one of the people that he was close to prior look at him with the same kind eyes Kaede had earlier made it a little easier to remember. And with that, as per Gokuhara’s request, they strided over to him to admire the beauty of the flowers that he was referring to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so i kinda realized that i hadn't really written any interaction between kirumi and kokichi so uh yeah i decided to put some of that here!! expect some more garden scenes because i plan on the garden being a more key setting later on!! :D</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Blast Off, Second Ignition</h2></a>
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    <p>An overwhelming sense of guilt washed over Kaito. <i>Why?<i></i></i></p><p>
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<p>Was it because he lied to his friends? Was it because he put their lives on the line? Was it because of the sadness he inflicted onto them once he revealed himself? Was it because he didn’t know how to respond to Maki’s confession? Momota had no idea as he struggled to stand before them, knowing full well he could collapse at any moment. Whether it be because he was ashamed or on the verge of death, having to face them again took so much more effort than he was showing. But he was sure it wasn’t just the pain he inflicted onto those still alive that was making his chest ache with regret. While his illness could easily explain the physical pain in his heart, there was much more to it.</p>
<p>He failed Kokichi. </p>
<p>Kaito wanted to punch himself over and over again for what he did. He made Ouma a promise, and Momota always stuck to his word. He swore he would fulfill his plan and carry on his legacy. But here he was, post-confession and mere moments away from his inevitable execution. He had one job and he fucked it up. He broke his promise. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how angry Ouma would be in the afterlife or their next life. No matter what happened after he died, if he were to see Kokichi again in some form, he was sure he’d get strangled.</p>
<p>Momota felt like such a failure. He wasn’t a hero like he painted himself to be. Instead, he was just a dying man who couldn’t even carry out a single promise. He felt like a disappointment in every aspect, mentally beating himself up over it. If he had just tried a little harder and done a little better, maybe it would’ve worked. Maybe he could’ve fulfilled Kokichi’s dying wish. But he had to go on and confess and ruin his chances at tricking Monokuma. </p>
<p>The astronaut knew he would never be able to forgive himself if he escaped while everyone else paid the price for the crime he committed. So when he saw that that stupid bear was growing closer and closer to the actual truth, he knew he had to confess or else they’d all be executed. He was just thankful that they had at least gotten closer to finding out who the true mastermind was, even at the expense of himself. After all, he thought, I deserve to die if I’m gonna give up so easily. </p>
<p>While there wasn’t much in the script to help him direct Monokuma away from the conclusions he was drawing, Momota cursed himself for not trying to lure him away from the answer. At least he would’ve gone down fighting; maybe then his confession would’ve made him feel a tad less guilty. Perhaps if he had kept lying he would’ve been able to lead Monokuma down the wrong path and get the answer wrong. But instead he jumped to conclusions and threw it all away. He was so fucking stupid. </p>
<p>But he shouldn’t reminisce over it much longer. After all, he was about to be executed and if that didn’t kill him, his illness would. He would rather spend his last moments with a happier mindset. However, he could barely hide the tremendous fear he was feeling. He was about to die, and it’s not like he wanted to. He had never died before… what was it like? Kaito didn’t want to know, but unfortunately, he was about to find out.</p>
<p>He took a deep breath, looking up at Monokuma with determination in his eyes. “Alright then! Let’s end this with a bang! A special punishment suited for the Luminary of the Stars!” he exclaimed, fist clenched and not even bothering to wipe away the blood that dripped down his chin. Monokuma snickered giddily and replied, “You don’t gotta tell me! I’m excited to get this started!” Momota’s face contorted into one of anger as he yelled, “Oh yeah? Well screw you! I’m not gonna die the way you want!” </p>
<p>And then the dreadful words came. The ones Kaito wished he never had to hear.</p>
<p>“Its… PUNISHMENT TIME!” </p>
<p>☆ ★ ☆</p>
<p>The scene was set as Kaito sat stiff in a wooden chair, arms crossed and feet flat on the ground. Walls fell around him and he found himself in what he assumed was a classroom, considering the desks and chairs lined around him. Behind him stood a large projector, having the appearance of what one would assume to be a disco ball. And before him sat Monokuma, a comically big red button right in front of him. The bear was decked out in the space suit that Momota knew was just to mock him. </p>
<p>His blatant uneasiness was just barely calmed by the gentle glow of stars that emitted from the projector in the dark room. The soft yellow danced around the walls and any surfaces it came in contact with, giving a warm look to anything it shined upon. It reminded Kaito of fairy lights, similar to the ones he remembered having in his room as a kid. Their soft glow engulfing him in a warm embrace that brought him an odd amount of comfort. It was odd to think that it could provide him with just the smallest bit of security in the situation he was in. </p>
<p>Monokuma pressed the button, and suddenly the loud sound of metal falling boomed behind Kaito. As though it were his cue, Momota began to cough violently, eyes squinting shut. His heart began to race faster as his chest heaved, wincing in pain as an ache coursed through his lungs. The astronaut had barely noticed the large metal doors that quickly closed him inside of whatever had landed behind him. And to his surprise, it was a rocket ship. </p>
<p>He was going to space?</p>
<p>He didn’t have very long to ponder it before the rumbling of an engine shook him alert and he watched as smoke filled the classroom. And before he knew it, he was already off the ground. However, to his surprise, he didn’t go straight into space. In fact, he found himself being flipped upside down and accelerating through the ground, bits of earth clanking against the ship’s exterior. Momota looked outside the window, layers of rocks passing by until he found himself in what he assumed to be the center of the Earth. </p>
<p>Sweat began running down the boy’s face more profusely as the rocket ship became noticeably warmer. His chest heaved with pain as the overwhelming sensations of both the new temperature and the illness started to overcome him. He couldn’t stifle down the staggered coughs that came out, blood and sweat dripping down his face and to his shirt. Kaito could feel his eyes welling with tears as he tried to keep them in, squinting his eyes at the bright view outside his window. </p>
<p>Soon though he passed once again through more rocks and earth, the temperature in the rocket ship growing much cooler. Eyes still glued to what lay beyond the window, Momota watched as the ship was shot out of the ground and into the sky. His lips parted slightly as though he were about to speak, but all that came out were a few more stifled coughs. He inhaled through staggered breaths, staring intently and watching as the area outside the ship became engulfed in pitch black. </p>
<p>However, in that moment, all fear and agony that had been building up inside of him seemed to vanish. </p>
<p>Stars glimmered and gleamed beyond the window; some close and some far, some big and some small. He could spot the moon from out of the corner of his eye, currently in a crescent shape as the rest was hidden in the shadows. He noticed other tiny planets floating around nearby, illuminated by stars of their own. Momota’s eyes widened at the sight as he struggled to take in gulps of air, feeling the oxygen quickly depleting around him. </p>
<p>It was just so beautiful. Finally. <i>Finally<i> he was in space. He made it. </i></i></p><p>
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<p>It was then he let the tears slip. He hiccupped, attempting to wipe them away as they continued to stream down his face in what seemed like bucket loads. His normally stiff hands began to shake almost violently. His chest heaved in staggered waves, a sting of pain washing over him in an instant. Kaito winced, clutching his shirt with his fist and opening his quivering lips as he felt another oncoming cough fit preparing itself. </p>
<p>Only this time it felt a lot more urgent and rough when it came out. It was caught in his throat, tearing at his flesh as tears continued to roll down his cheeks. Whether it be from the sheer pain of the sight beyond the rocket ship, he couldn’t tell anymore. He wanted to hope it was the latter and that the luminary of the stars wouldn’t succumb to pain so easily. But here he was, pounding a fist against his chest in a desperate attempt to cough up what was tearing his insides apart. </p>
<p>Suddenly, it all came out in one big splatter of pink. It painted the window and the surrounding metal, along with his shirt. His trembling fingers grazed over his lips as he felt the blood dripping down his chin still. His head felt dizzy and he could feel his eyelids growing heavier by the second. He wiped at the pink that stained his mouth and chin, pulling his hand away afterwards and looking down at it. His shaking fingers were painted in pink and his palms had excess splatters on them as well. Overall, not a very hopeful sight. </p>
<p>Kaito’s gaze grew progressively more disoriented as moments passed by, soon finding himself falling out of his chair and hitting the ground with a loud thump. The pain inflicted from the fall was nothing compared to the sting in his chest that still remained, yet it was all now beginning to grow numb. He felt his senses leaving his by the second as his half-lidded eyes stared blankly at the ceiling of the rocket ship. But he soon found it almost impossible to keep them open. </p>
<p>So this is what death felt like, huh? Honestly, it wasn’t as Momota thought it would be. Sure, it hurt like a bitch, but at least he felt a tad more content dying in space. He did fulfill his lifelong dream after all. Space was so much more stunning in person that he had thought it would be based off of pictures and photos he had seen, yet he wasn’t surprised. He knew deep down it was impossible to truly capture the beauty of it. </p>
<p>He tried to fill his head with happy thoughts, like his friends. He prayed Shuichi and Maki would make it through everything thrown at them. He hoped everyone would. He hoped they would find and defeat the sick monster of a mastermind. He wanted Shuichi to finally excel and feel confident in his abilities, finally becoming the strong leader he always knew he was. And he hoped that Maki would find someone to love her like he couldn’t. Someone who was better than him and better for her. Someone that would make her happy forever and ever like she deserved. </p>
<p>And as he felt his eyes drooping shut and his body going stiff and numb, another thought flashed through his mind. </p>
<p>Kokichi Ouma. That bastard. <i>That lying sack of shit<i>. </i></i></p><p>
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<p>God, he was so sorry for failing him. It was stupid, he knew that, but he still felt awful. If he could speak without stuttering over every word, he’d apologize right then and there, although it would be to no one but himself. But at least his efforts helped in some way or another, and he hoped that was enough for Ouma. Although it didn’t compare to what they could’ve accomplished if they had succeeded, he still prayed that it would be enough to get them through to the end. </p>
<p>Then a few memories of the boy smiling flashed through his mind. Memories of Kokichi being happy and having a genuine smile on his face. Around when they had first met, where things were much more innocent compared to what they got themselves into as the game progressed. His cheeks would glow with a subtle red as he laughed his ass off at Momota’s over the top reactions to his teasing. At the time he found it annoying as hell, but now he found it endearing. Dare he say he missed it.  </p>
<p>Or maybe he just missed <i>him<i>. </i></i></p>
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<p>But as soon as those memories came, they were gone. Now without something to focus on as his surroundings drowned out around him, his mind raced back to where he was: space. He made it! His dream had come true! He finally got to go to space! You parents would be so proud, he thought to himself fondly, Your grandparents would be ecstatic. His lips curved into a soft smile, lips parting slightly as he swallowed in attempts to clear his throat without coughing up his guts again. </p>
<p>And with that, he found his eyes fluttering shut as his lips remained in a content smile, the world disappearing from around him. </p>
<p>☆ ★ ☆</p>
<p>Kaito’s eyes shot open upon hearing a loud beeping sound near his head, mouth opening on instinct as he gulped down a large sum of air. </p>
<p>He found himself breathing in heavily staggered intervals, chest practically spazzing at that point. He found himself being overwhelmed by bright lights from above where he lay. His fingers grasped at the thin bed sheet that lay underneath him, hands trembling as his eyes shot around the room with almost a prey-like fear. Momota’s gaze wandered hastily around the room, looking at his surroundings intently and an immediate thought came to his mind. </p>
<p>This was a hospital room. </p>
<p>He had been in one before, as he would assume anyone has. He remembered visiting one briefly before the events of the game. But never would he think he’d find himself waking up after dying in one. Had he not even died in the first place? Had they resurrected him like some zombie? That thought made his skin crawl. Or maybe it was all a dream and he had been in a com this entire time? He had so many questions and seemingly so little ways to access answers. </p>
<p>Kaito’s eyes wandered around the room and towards the doorway, seeing the hallway lights on and hearing faint voices coming from God knows where. He slowly let go of the sheets, gradually hoisting himself so he was sitting upright in his bed. His hands now traveled up to his face, originally trying to rub his eyes but instead nearly getting tangled in some thin tubes. His shaking hands gingerly worked their ways free, now noticed the IVs on him, the finger clip and the tube helping to breathe air into his nose. </p>
<p>He ran a hand through his hair, breathing now slowing to a much more consistent pace. He had no clue why he was in a hospital and who else was there, but he planned to find out. It would give him something to do and hopefully help him find answers as to what the hell was going on. </p>
<p>So he slowly attempted to plant his feet on the floor, but he quickly found that his legs felt like jelly and it would be incredibly hard to walk without falling. So he considered other plans of action. There didn’t seem to be any buttons to call for nurses from what he could tell. There were no wheelchairs or crutches in his room, either. So he sighed, deciding he might just have to wait it out until someone finally came and noticed him. </p>
<p>He prayed it wouldn’t take too long. He had so many questions for whoever was unlucky enough to find him. He had literally just died and now he was here? It made no sense to him unless it had never happened in the first place. He had every right to be confused and have inquiries. Hopefully getting some answers would soothe his anxiety. </p>
<p>Suddenly, he heard squeaking coming from beyond the doorway, assumingly down the hall. Momota’s head perked up as he stared intently out into the hallway, inhaling deeply as his eyes widened. He cleared his throat, attempting to call out to grab whoever was passing by’s attention. However, all that came out was a soft croak. “Fuck,” he breathed out with a heavy sigh. He tried clearing his throat again, hesitantly coughing into his arm to make sure no blood would come out. And to his relief, he found no pink on his arm. With that security in mind, he coughed a few times more to get that frog out of his throat. </p>
<p>“Hello? Hey, hello?” he called out, soon finding himself coughing heavily into his arm again. Who knew talking would take so much effort. At least the pain in his chest was gone for the moment it seemed. He waited as patiently as he could, fiddling with his fingers until he heard the squeaking come to an abrupt stop, a skidding sound echoing through the hall. He could decipher a few muffled curses as the squeaking continued at a slow pace until it grew louder and louder while approaching the room. </p>
<p>Kaito’s skin crawled with anxiousness, fingers going back to gripping the bed sheets, this time the one on top of him. He took a deep breath. Momota found himself staring intently at the doorway, almost to the point where his eyes began to sting from his lack of blinking. He internally cursed whoever was taking so long to get to the damn hospital room. How hard could it be? You just walk down a hall and bam, there you are. Kaito sighed softly, giving his staring a short break to look down at the shiny tiled floor before he could hear the squeaking come to a halt. His eyes immediately shot back up to the doorway to see if anyone had arrived, and to his surprise, they had. </p>
<p>But surprised was an understatement to describe what he was feeling as he saw Kokichi Ouma in his doorway.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey guys!! i didn't expect it would take this long to get this update out since i was excited to get working on it, but i was procrastinating a lot heh. but i got it done!! kaito is awake now so that is swag and i do be leaving it on a cliffhanger because why not. i hope you enjoyed!! as always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated!! stay safe!! ^u^</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Kaito Momota</h2></a>
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<p>Ouma had just finished his little get together with Gonta and Kirumi and had been wheeling himself back to his room to rest. It had gone well, he thought to himself. They had talked in the garden for at least a half an hour, if not longer. The game wasn’t brought up very much. If anything, they discussed what they hoped to do once they finally got out of this hellhole. </p>
<p>Kirumi had spoken about attending college to become a politician or perhaps a lawyer. She considered taking up babysitting or housekeeping to get back up on her feet. Gonta and Kokichi thought the plan suited her well. Knowing Tojo, she would do great things. If her ideals in the game held true, she cared immensely about protecting her people. Hopefully she wouldn’t stoop to murder again, though. The thought made Kokichi chuckle. </p>
<p>Gokuhara went on about how he hoped to continue studying entomology. It had always been a passion of his, so Ouma wasn’t all that surprised. Although bugs made his own stomach churn with uneasiness, if it made Gonta happy, then he was all willing to hype him up for it. </p>
<p>As for Kokichi and his plans? He didn’t know where to start. He had no idea if DICE was even real. He couldn’t recall much family at the time. He hadn’t really planned anything in his high school years for how he planned to spend the rest of his life. So perhaps he would just go with the flow. He told them that he’d probably just pick up some job in retail or at a fast food place or something to get himself started. After that, he would just have to see. </p>
<p>“Gonta thinks Kokichi would be a good comedian!” Gokuhara chimed in, “Because he is very funny!” Ouma snickered, shaking his head and hand dismissively. “We’ll see,” he exclaimed, “Stand up comedy does sound like fun, though. I’d have some fun stories to tell, huh?” </p>
<p>The more he thought about it, the more the job intrigued him. He was naturally charismatic, he was funny enough to get some laughs out of people and he was great at exaggerating situations and making them look bigger than life. He would start small, of course. Probably scoring a few gigs at bars or comedy clubs to get his name out there. Maybe it was him being full of himself, or maybe it was him recognising his talent, but he thought he would be pretty successful in that field. </p>
<p>So he thanked Gonta for the suggestion and kept it in the back of his mind. </p>
<p>Soon enough though, he departed from the group. He was growing tired and figured he should lay down for a bit. Which is what brought him to retreat back to his room, wheeling himself down the hall as the wheels squeaked against the shiny tiled floors. He could hear Angie and Tenko down the hall in the dining hall, most likely eating a snack or an early dinner. He could also hear Amami and Kaede talking, accompanied by who he thought was Ryoma. Kokichi assumed they were also grabbing something to eat or drink.

Ouma found himself nearing his door before he heard violent coughing and a voice call out. He didn’t pay much mind to it at first, instead continuing on his way before it hit him like a ton of bricks.</p>
<p>He recognized that voice. </p>
<p>He came to a sudden stop, wheels screeching as his eyes widened almost comically. His lips parted as a string of mumbled curses escaped his mouth, eyeing down the doorway that the voice had come from. He hadn’t expected to hear that annoying voice so soon. He couldn’t tell whether he should be upset or excited. He decided to try and stay neutral to help avoid any weird or unwanted feelings.</p>
<p>Without thinking, his now trembling hands clutched onto the rims of the wheels and he found himself moving forward, the obnoxious squeaking returning again.</p>
<p>He second guessed his spontaneous decision of approaching the door for a moment, though he stayed at a slower constant pace. He was almost certain of who it was by the scratchy undertone to his voice. And the coughing kind of gave it away as well. He knew he wasn’t ready to see him again, but he couldn’t deny that he wanted to. Even if he was mad at him fucking up the plan, that didn’t mean he didn’t want to see his stupid face again. </p>
<p>It couldn’t be <i>that<i> bad, could it? </i></i></p>
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<p>He took a deep breath as he wheeled himself to the door frame only a couple meters away, lips pursed together in a straight line. Once he reached his destination, he came to a stop, peering inside with a lot more caution than he would’ve expected. He wasn’t nervous or anything, he told himself, he was just making sure it was really him. And little to his surprise, there sat Kaito Momota on his hospital bed, gaze attached to the floor. He assumed the other boy heard the squeaking come to a halt since his eyes darted over to the doorway.</p>
<p>Ouma’s heart almost leapt out of his chest. </p>
<p>Kaito’s eyes widened immediately upon seeing him, lips parting as though he were about to speak. Yet no words came out and his mouth was closed shut again. His fingers were digging into the bed sheets, grasping onto them tightly. His chest rose and fell in staggered intervals, shoulders stiff with what seemed to be fear. His deep magenta eyes never left Kokichi as the small boy sat in his wheelchair in the doorway, still and staring right back at him. </p>
<p>Noticeable bags lay under the taller’s eyes. His hair was sprawled out and ruffled. His eyes had an almost corpse-like gloss over them. He looked absolutely exhausted. </p>
<p>The two boys stayed silent. Neither spoke, just staring intently at each other.</p>
<p>Kokichi debated sparking conversation, but he couldn’t get his mouth to open. His loud and expressive front seemed to dissolve in seconds. It was almost embarrassing how stupid he probably looked. He screamed internally at himself to say something. Anything. But all he could do was stare doe eyed at the other, still lips pursed in a straight line. He could feel his cheeks growing warmer. Whether that be from embarrassment or some other feeling, he prayed it wasn’t the latter. </p>
<p>Fortunately, Kokichi didn’t feel as obligated to speak as he heard Momota clear his throat. </p>
<p>“Uh, hey Ouma.”</p>
<p>The words were much quieter than the shorter had anticipated. Kaito’s usual booming voice had been watered down to something much more soft and gentle. Ouma would be lying if he said he didn’t like it; it was nice being greeted in such an unusually gentle manner. He wasn’t complaining. While it was odd for the other, it wasn’t unwelcome. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Ouma shot back, not putting too much thought into the response. It came as more of an instinct than a reply. He hadn’t had enough time to think through it. It just can naturally. His voice too was less exaggerated than in the game. Perhaps it was because he didn’t care enough to liven it up, or maybe it was because he just couldn’t. He didn’t know which one. </p>
<p>Again, more silence. </p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p>Kokichi’s head tilted slightly on its side, quirking a brow at the other. “What?” he chuckled, a subtle smile just barely tugging at his lips, “What are you talking about?" Kaito’s brow furrowed as his hands trembled, clutching the sheets more aggressively. “I meant exactly what I said. Are you okay? As in, like uh… are you feeling alright? Like how are you doing?”</p>
<p>Ouma stared at him blankly for a moment. </p>
<p>“<i>You’re<i> the one who just woke up from a simulation, probably very well confused as to how you are still alive. Meanwhile, <i>I’m<i> up and out of bed, functioning quite well with my surroundings. And you’re asking <i>me<i> how I’m doing? Wow, you’re even dumber than I thought, Momota-Chan.”</i></i></i></i></i></i></p>
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<p>The taller man sat nearly dumbfounded by Ouma’s words, eyes widening a tad. “Look, I…” Momota started, “I don’t know wh-what’s going on and I just… I was just confused and worried, okay? I saw you and that was the first thought that came to my mind.” Kaito looked away from Kokichi, shoulders now slouching. Something that seemed quite out of character for him. Ouma blinked a few times, processing the words. </p>
<p>“You were worried about me?” he questioned, speaking his first thoughts aloud. He could feel his chest tightening and his face proceeding to grow warmer. </p>
<p>Momota’s head whipped around. “Of course I was worried about you! You freaking died, man! And then you just turn up here and you’re alive and well? It doesn’t make any sense to me!” he replied, face contorted into one of concern. “So what the hell is going on?!” Ouma could hear his voice breaking as Kaito struggled to hold back tears. You could see the glistening in his eyes. Not the joyous glint that shone when one was in bliss, but instead when one was on the verge of breaking down. </p>
<p>Ouma could sense the distress that Momota was attempting to cover up. He concluded that it probably made Kaito uncomfortable not knowing what was going on around him. It was overwhelming and scary, he knew that first hand. And as much as he enjoyed poking fun at the other and getting him all riled up, this was a different kind of upset that he was experiencing. He was genuinely frightened, just like Kokichi had been when he first woke up. </p>
<p>Kokichi sighed quietly, running a hand through his hair. </p>
<p>“Calm down, Momota-Chan. Don’t get so riled up!” he giggled, an exaggerated grin on his face, “It was all just a game! A simulation, if you will! No one actually died. It was just a sick, sadistic game for the public to watch and enjoy!” He watched closely as Kaito’s face grew paler than it already was. </p>
<p>“Why the fuck would anyone wanna watch that?!” he practically yelled, visibly shaking at this point. Whether it be out of fear or anger, Ouma didn’t know, but it most likely was a mix of both. Kokichi just shrugged, looking off to the side. “I don’t know, but clearly some people get pleasure out of watching it!” he responded, “Also, don’t yell. You’re a lot more annoying when you do.” </p>
<p>The taller huffed, taking a hand away from the sheets and rubbing his forehead. “Shut up, Kokichi. I’m not in the mood for your insults. Seriously,” Kaito muttered. Ouma’s grin quickly fell apart at that, expression now apathetic. </p>
<p>The least Ouma could do was shut up and stop being such an asshole, he knew that. He completely understood that Momota was overwhelmed and uneasy and so very confused with what was going on. He had been in the same boat just a mere day ago. He shouldn’t be giving Momota a hard time, especially since he himself was given sympathy upon waking up when it certainly did not deserve it. </p>
<p>So he exhaled quickly, looking back up at Kaito. “Okay, whatever. I thought you were into the rival stuff. Guess not!” he exclaimed with little emotion at all, eyebrows cocked up. The other male furrowed his brow again, lips parting slightly. “I…” he began but soon found his words dying in his throat. In all honesty, Momota didn’t know how to respond to that. Sure, he’d say that he enjoyed rivalry and one-upping on the regular, but right now? He couldn’t handle it. </p>
<p>“Okay, so let me get this straight…” Momota said, “So like, it was just a simulation? It wasn’t real? And everyone is fine?” The smaller nodded with a hum, looking now at the other with a more content expression. “Yeah, that’s basically it,” Ouma replied. He heard Momota let out a heavy sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he continued to rub his forehead. “Alright… and I’m assuming whoever survives until the end will wake up as well with us?” the taller added. And the shorter shot back with, “Yep! So you’ll get to see your little boy toy Shumai and girlfriend Makiroll again!” </p>
<p>Momota’s eyes shot open and his face flushed. “Wh-What?! No, it’s not like that! We’re all just friends!” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck. A nervous habit that Kokichi was well aware of at this point. “Heh… sure,” Kokichi chuckled, “But yeah, you’ll get to see them again. So that’s good for you, I guess.” </p>
<p>He paused for a moment before clearing his throat. “So uh… are <i>you<i> okay? Like how are you feeling right now? I mean, you kinda did just wake up.” Momota looked at him with a slightly surprised expression, eyebrows raised and eyes a tad wide. “Oh,” Kaito started, blinking a good few times, “Oh um, I’m good? I think I am at least. I mean, I don’t feel bad. Just kinda fuzzy, I guess? Throat feels a little dry, though.” Kokichi nodded in acknowledgement. </i></i></p>
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<p>“Okay, good to know you’re not like actually dying or some shit…” the smaller boy chuckled, crossing his arms. He wasn’t surprised when he didn’t hear anything come from Momota. Why would he expect him to chuckle, too? This wasn’t something to laugh about. If anything, Kaito was probably scared out of his mind. But it was Ouma’s way of lightening the mood. Even if it seemed a tad inappropriate considering the situation. </p>
<p>His gaze panned over the taller man who sat in the hospital bed, still trembling a bit. His brow was furrowed, lips pursed in a straight line. They would occasionally open, only to exhale quietly. He seemed to be pondering something; even trying to speak, perhaps. And by the looks of it, it seemed like it was something that meant a decent amount to him, considering the way Kaito’s hands would jerk slightly whenever he couldn’t get any words out. </p>
<p>There had to be a better way for Kokichi to even remotely comfort him, even if it was out of his own comfort zone. </p>
<p>There was another moment of agonizing, painful silence. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry…” </p>
<p>They both stared wide eyed at each other. Eyebrows cocked in confusion, lips parted slightly as though they were about to speak. But they stayed quiet for a second. That is, until Kokichi blurted out, “What? What are you talking about? What do you mean ‘I’m sorry’? <i>I’m<i> the one who’s supposed to be sorry!” </i></i></p>
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<p>“Well I am too, then! How could I not be sorry?! I killed you, Ouma! I fucking murdered you in such a gruesome way that even you didn’t deserve! And you thought I <i>wouldn’t<i> be sorry?!” </i></i></p>
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<p>Ouma focused intently on Momota’s face. His eyes were a tad squinted, tears threatening to spill. His eyebrows were slanted into an expression that could be interpreted as either mad or distraught. His cheeks were red, and Kokichi could only assume it was because of anger, or maybe even something else. His lips quivered, staggered breaths escaping them with a sense of urgency. Everything about him practically screamed sorrow. Dare he say <i>despair<i>. </i></i></p>
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<p>That thought made Kokichi sick. Seeing Kaito before him, in a state of utter distress, made him uncharacteristically upset. It made him want to hold him tight and close and let him cry into his shoulder. He wanted to comb his fingers through his stupid hair and tell him that everything is okay now. But that too made Ouma cringe. <i>Gross<i>.


He never thought he’d see the day where someone could have that effect on him, let alone <i><i>that<i><i> idiot. </i></i></i></i></i></i></p>
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<p>“Look, don’t sweat it. It wasn’t real, it never happened, it’s fine,” Ouma exclaimed, doing his best to muster a warm expression, “So don’t get so worked up about it.” He was happy to see a somber smile make its way onto Kaito’s tired features. Momota sighed heavily, running a now less shaky hand through his hair. “I, uh, appreciate that… thanks. But just because it wasn’t real doesn’t mean it didn’t feel real… the pain was real. Both physical and emotional. I guess that’s why I’m sorry? Even apart from the whole killing thing, I’m sorry for a lot of things…” </p>
<p>“Pfft, like what?” Kokichi giggled, raising an eyebrow. </p>
<p>Kaito took a deep breath, looking down at the tiled floor. “Just… tons of stuff, okay? Like for how I treated you and tried to get you to open up when you obviously didn’t want to. And all the one-upping and shit. Just for being a jerk sometimes, really. And then obviously uh… killing you and messing up your plan. I’m really sorry about that. I know how much effort you put into it only to have me fuck it up…” </p>
<p>Momota’s head perked up when he heard violent shushing. “Ugh, shut up! You’re making the mood so much more depressing! I know you messed up! Hell, I watched it happen! It’s not like I don’t know what went down!” the smaller male said, rubbing his forehead. He paused for a moment before sighing. He wheeled himself a little closer to the other.

“Listen, I know you fucked up, Kaito. And it's obvious that you regret it. But it’s over now. Sure, I’m mad it all went to waste, but at least I got to entertain the thought, even if it was just for a few hours. And honestly? You did a lot better than I thought you would… so thanks for, uh… carrying it out as well as you did. Even if it fell apart at the end, it was nice to watch I guess. So just don’t beat yourself up over it, ‘kay? It’s fine or whatever.” </p>
<p>“So does this mean you forgive me..?”</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t get so ahead of yourself, Momo-Chan! I didn’t say that!”</p>
<p>Kokichi giggled, brushing some of his hair out of his face. “But we’ll get there eventually, yeah.”</p>
<p>And even though it was just a soft smile on Kaito’s part, Ouma’s chest swelled with joy and warmth. </p>
<p>Momota chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. “Okay, that’s a win in my book. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting you to be so understanding. I thought you’d totally choke me out or somethin’. So, um… thanks for being sympathetic about it. It means a ton.” Kokichi’s face heated up a tad, fumbling with his hands as he shot back, “Yeah, of course. No need to thank me. You deserve it.”</p>
<p>“Oh, didn’t you say sorry when I did? What did you need to apologize for?” Kaito added, head tilted slightly to the side as he looked down at Ouma. The other snickered, waving his hand dismissively. “I didn’t say anything! I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kai-Chan. You might need to get your ears checked out to make sure they still work properly!” Momota just sighed, shaking his head with another quiet chuckle. “Sure, whatever you say.” </p>
<p>The room fell quiet again, but this time it was a more comforting silence. Dare Ouma say he enjoyed it. But it was soon broken.<br/>
“Hey, do you remember that hug you talked about?” Kaito practically laughed out, raising an eyebrow. Kokichi looked up at him in a little bit of shock, mouth agape. “Oh, I <i>totally<i> forgot about that!” he giggled with a shrug, “But now I remember! What about it?” </i></i></p>
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<p>Momota fidgeted with his fingers, biting the inside of his cheek. “Well, uh… did you still want it? I mean, a hug may be kinda hard with the wheelchair thing you got going on-- wait, you have a wheelchair?! Oh my god, what happened?!” he exclaimed, eyes widening as he stared Ouma down. The shorter started cackling, eventually having to cover his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughing. </p>
<p>“Well, when you crushed me in the game, you somehow also crushed my legs in reality! They’re broken forever! How could you, Momo-Chan?!” Kokichi joked, his usual fake crocodile tears welling in his eyes. He had to stifle his laughter upon seeing Kaito’s face drain of color. “Wh-What?! Oh god, I’m so sorry! No no no, sorry doesn’t cut immobilizing someone for the rest of their life! God Kaito, stop being such an idiot--!” </p>
<p>“Oh, but that was just a lie!” Kokichi interrupted Momota’s rambling, grinning happily at the other, “Just my nerves waking up after the simulation is all! I should only be wheelchair bound for another few days at most!” Kaito looked at Ouma with an exasperated expression, cheeks quickly growing red with either anger or embarrassment, or more likely a mix of both. “Dude, what the hell?! You scared me!” </p>
<p>Ouma just giggled, wiping away actual tears that were beginning to collect in his eyes. “Okay, okay! I was just kidding! I’ll be fine,” he reassured Momota, looking at him with a welcoming gaze. He paused. “Probably.” </p>
<p>“I sure hope so. If you actually died, then we’d have a problem,” Kaito chuckled. Ouma shrugged. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” The boy cleared his throat, looking down at the floor. “So uh anyways… what about that hug again?” Momota looked down at him, lips curving up into a smile. “Oh yeah, the hug? Um… did you still want it? I mean, hugging in a wheelchair may be a little awkward but… I already broke one of the promises I made. The least I can do is honor another.” </p>
<p>Kokichi could feel his cheeks flushing, looking down to hopefully have the shadows of his hair cover up the blush spreading across his face. “Well do <i>you<i> want it? I mean, it’s not like you have to. I, uh… don’t wanna make you uncomfy or anything,” he replied, biting his lip as he fiddled his thumbs. He heard Kaito scoff. “I’m Kaito Momota! I never go back on my word,” the taller spoke. He went quiet before continuing. “Unless you don’t want to. Then we don’t have to. But I don’t mind! After all, I did make a promise! And if you’re still down, then I’d be more than happy to oblige.”</i></i></p>
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<p>Ouma looked back up at the other, his heart fluttering upon seeing that stupid grin on Momota’s face. </p>
<p>“I, um…” Kokichi started while brushing some hair out of his face, “I guess I’m still down, yeah. But only because it was a promise.” He chuckled, running a hand through his lavender locks as he wheeled himself closer to the bed. Momota shifted, wiggling his legs to wake them up and sat up straight with a groan. He muttered a few curses as he carefully plucked the IVs from his skin and took the tube out of his nose, along with taking the finger clamp off. </p>
<p>Momota threw himself out of bed, readjusting his hospital gown and brushing off the nonexistent dust. He looked down at Kokichi who now sat in front of him, looking back up at him with a pair of purple eyes. “Okay, uh,” Kaito exclaimed as he slowly crouched down, “This is gonna be a little weird so um… sorry about that.” Ouma just rolled his eyes, opening his arms up to the other. “I already told you Momo-Chan, it’s fine! God, is your brain all mushy or something?!” the small boy giggled. </p>
<p>“Hey, shut up!” Kaito shot back with a glare, hesitantly extending his arms forward to try and wrap them around the other male. He scooted closer, awkwardly trying to weave his way around Ouma’s thin torso. He eventually found a somewhat comfortable way to do it, deciding on leaning forward and resting his chin on Kokichi’s left shoulder, arms wrapped gingerly around his middle.</p>
<p>Even though Momota had taken a moment to find the best way to hug him, Kokichi still let out a quiet gasp when he felt arms engulf him. He could feel his face growing hot. It had taken him a second to hug back, still a tad taken back. Ouma’s heart felt like it could burst right out of his chest and explode into some big bloody mess. He didn’t know how to process it. So he just let his head rest in the crook of the other’s neck, taking a deep breath in. </p>
<p>Kaito smelled like cigarette smoke. </p>
<p>It almost felt nostalgic smelling that scent again. He couldn’t pinpoint what about it made him go all weak, but something did. He let his eyes flutter shut, breathing growing even and soft as he found himself going limp in the other’s embrace. Aside from the pounding in his chest, he felt about the calmest he’d ever been since his last moments in the game

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<p>He didn’t want to think about that, though. </p>
<p>He was with Kaito, and that was enough to take in on its own.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>oh my gosh, i'm lowkey really happy with how this turned out. i really hope you all enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it!! so yeah, kaito's awake, so hopefully things can really get rolling soon!! ^u^</p>
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